There's one thing all parents should have. This is it.

Forget all the other lists. When it comes to being a new mum, this is all you need.

THIS it the one thing all parents need.

It astounds me that even after hours and hours…and hours, of pregnancy and parenting advice from friends, books and strangers, I was still grossly under-prepared for what being a mother really entailed. I had no clue how hard it would be, or that my bundle of joy would rock the hell out of my joyful marriage.

I was not prepared for the constant fear, worry and endless sleepless nights for one reason or another. Most of all, I had no clue how important it was to have a dependable person to watch my son periodically to save me from the non-stop 24/7/365 life of a parent.                                   

Finding a babysitter you trust is a big deal.

The majority of the advice focused on parenting and how to rock my baby to sleep or to change a nappy without getting peed on. It was not to make sure I ran from mummying a couple of times a month to maintain my sanity.

Not once did anyone tell me to make sure my husband and I had at least one date night a month to reconnect and decompress from parenthood, starting the very first month. Not once did anyone tell me how hard it would be to find that one person, so start looking early.

Yes. THE one thing a new parent needs is a babysitter.

When it became apparent that we desperately needed one, I started asking around and quickly learned finding someone was not going to be cheap or easy. It turns out, if someone has a great babysitter they are apprehensive to share their name, or worse, every parent in the suburb has the sitter on speed dial.

Another option I entertained was a nanny/babysitter services that has a large group of well-screened and qualified sitters. The issue is that the service has a $100 minimum, which is astronomical when you are talking about looking after one kid for three or four hours! Plus, you are not even guaranteed to get the same sitter every time, so while the sitter is qualified on paper, their personality may not be right for your family.

All we want, sans toddler.

My son is two, and I am still looking for that one person. It's hard to leave your child with a stranger, or someone you do not know very well. Because of this, we have had to turn down numerous invites from friends and colleagues, and have all but alienated ourselves from our single or childfree friends.

This inability to find time to be alone together has also caused our relationship to suffer. We used to go out all of the time and have a blast.  Now we do our best to get out with a toddler in tow, which is not always easy, or fun.

Bottom line: EVERY parent needs a break and someone they can trust to give that to them. If you are an expectant or new parent, start looking for that one person you can depend on and trust right now, because you will need them.

If you are like me, and desperate for your third date night in two years, you are not alone, keep looking. We have two good options we are looking into now thanks to our new neighbours! For those of you who have family close by who will help, thank them and your lucky stars...

Like this? Try:
The 13 simple tips for staying married. 
Why the man I married is not the man of my dreams.

This post was originally published here and is republished with full permission.

Who do you trust to look after your kids? And how do you find a babysitter you like?

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