"It feels like running the gauntlet on Gladiator": 5 things no one tells you about mornings as a parent.

Getting to work before I had a child used to feel like a slog. I would snooze on the alarm clock a few times, drag myself into a long hot shower, make a coffee, drink it hot, then head off to the office around 8.30am. 

Now that I have a three year old I chuckle at my pre-kid self. Oh how I laugh! She really had no idea. 

These days my alarm clock is a toddler by the side of my bed screaming for PJ Masks before the sun is even up, my coffee is cold (and only half drunk) and getting into the car let alone to the office feels like running the gauntlet on Gladiator. Long shower?! Never met her. 

Thinking about it, there’s definitely a bunch of things no one tells you about the morning chaos until you’ve had kids. 

They don't want their breakfast… even though they asked for it.

My son is obsessed with Nutri-Grain. OBSESSED. He begs for it while he dances around the kitchen (pre-6am most mornings), and because I’m still foggy pre-my instant coffee caffeine hit, I usually give in, pouring him a bowl and topping it with milk. 

I serve it to him, like a mini king in his highchair like a throne, at which point he has an Oscar-worthy meltdown because I gave him Nutri-Grain. That he asked for. Because now he wants Weet-Bix. 

And on days it’s not the cereal argument it’s Vegemite toast because he really wanted peanut butter, but I'm not telepathic. Repeat every morning until the end of time. 

Getting them dressed is like trying to catch a slippery salmon.

After breakfast (complete with a wipe down of the wall which generally wears most of the milk), it’s time to get dressed. 

Ever seen a bear trying to pounce on a salmon while it’s leaping upstream, all slippery and fast and elusive? I’m the bear, only I’m carrying undies and a top and pants and a jumper and my tiny naked child is faster than anything John West has ever caught. 

After several laps of the apartment and some clever pinning and holding by me, he’s dressed, backpack on, and it’s time to head out the door. 

Toddlers have built-in truth serum.

Recently we were lucky enough to test drive the brand new Honda CR-V Black Edition. A family SUV yes, but it has serious style too (we’ll get to that later). 

When we got to the car, my toddler asked me what happened to “mummy’s boo-boo”. He’s referring to our other car, on which the left hand side mirror is stylishly held together with bright blue gaffa tape from when I misjudged the distance between the car and a wall. 

I explain to him that we’re in a fancy new car now with no boo-boos, a car that has a left-hand-side camera that shows what’s going on on that side of the car on the big main screen, meaning mummy’s boo-boo wouldn't have happened if she’d been driving a Honda CR-V. 

Image: Supplied. 

There’s an impressive amount of other safety features, including Forward Collision Warning, Lane Keeping Assist System and Lane Departure Warning (among others). It feels super safe, and it is, because it was designed with stylish families in mind. 

Image: Supplied. 

You’re not in charge… you’re just the driver.

On the way to daycare my son loudly declares he’d like to listen to the Moana soundtrack. It’s not so much a request as a demand. The Honda CR-V Black Edition has Apple CarPlay (or Android Auto) so I can easily grant his wish safely while I’m driving. There’s an impressive 8 speakers in the car so we travel to school sounding like we're at the actual movie theatre.

I glance back at my son in the rear-view mirror and he’s sitting there, bopping along with his sunglasses on, surrounded by a chic (but easy to wipe down) all black leather interior and he looks like the coolest little dude going around (or an extra from Men In Black). 

He also looks really tiny because the CR-V Black Edition has incredibly managed to completely maximise space so the interiors feel huge (but overall the car doesn't). The boot itself fits several suitcases, or all your groceries, trikes, scooters, beach paraphernalia and probably even the kitchen sink if you tried. 

Image: Supplied. 

You miss them as soon as you’ve dropped them off.

I drop him to his room at daycare, exhausted by it all before the day has even started, and all I can think of is the cafe down the road that will be making me a steaming hot latte in about three minutes. 

I can't wait to get out of there, and then my son says, “hey mum, give me a kiss, a cuddle, and a high five!” and I know I’ll miss the tiny boss as soon as I’m back in the car.  

It’s those smart little intuitive touches in the new Honda CR-V Black Edition that makes every journey more enjoyable. Explore its features here.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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