real life

Money, love and inequality.

A night out with your friends ? Who pays? What about when you are on a date or with your partner? What happens when you don’t have the same spending power as your group of friends?  Mamamia reader Bev* writes:


First, a little bit of background info: I’m 20 and have been with my partner for 18 months. We both just returned from Europe, and I’m struggling to find a job, while he walked straight into one the following Monday after returning, hired by a relative. His parents are well off and support him, while my Mum is a struggling single mother with 4 kids.

I prefer to spend what little money I have on the occasional dinner or movies with my boyfriend or breakfast with the girls. My boyfriend, on the other hand, prefers to go clubbing. When he wants me to go out with him, I usually (but not always) do, but I can’t buy any drinks or food, can’t go between different clubs due to entry fees. So it’s a largely unenjoyable night as I am sober and worrying about how much money the taxi home is going to be, while surrounded by drunk people putting 50 bucks through the pokies.

A group of friends are going on a holiday and I was planning to borrow money from family to go. But after looking at flights etc I have decided I probably can’t afford it. My boyfriend is still going to go. I feel like I compromise to do the things he wants, but feel betrayed that he is still going on the holiday without me, especially when it’s all couples and one person’s brother going. I can’t very well ask or tell him not to go, so what do I do instead? I would love to know the Mamamia-ers’ opinions. Am I being a drama queen or is there something valid here? Has anyone been in a situation like this?”

Has money got in the way of your relationships? Friendships? What happens when someone you love has a very different looking bank account to you?