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Just 5 of the most WTF moments from Moby's 'Then It Fell Apart' memoir.

Moby has been making a lot of noise in the media recently with his claims that he dated Natalie Portman in 1999, which she has since vehemently denied.

The techno-musician, 59, released a memoir Then It Fell Apart earlier this month, in which he shares some curious revelations about his life. Including his sexual encounters with singer Lana Del Ray, and the time he rubbed his penis on a pre-Presidency Donald Trump.

Oh, and the time he made a sandwich.

Here, we present you with the five weirdest revelations from Moby’s memoir.

1. He says he dated Natalie Portman. She says they did not.

This story has made the most headlines from the memoir, with Moby revealing to readers that he dated actress Natalie Portman in 1999. Only, Natalie Portman has since clarified that they never dated. A pretty crucial detail.

In the memoir, the musician recounts a number of dates they went on when he was aged 33 and Portman – Moby says – was aged 20, sharing he “tried to be her boyfriend” but she eventually broke it off after meeting another person.

But Portman has since said, in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar UKthat she remembers Moby as an older man acting “creepy” with her.

“He said I was 20; I definitely wasn’t. I was a teenager. I had just turned 18. There was no fact checking from him or his publisher – it almost feels deliberate,” the actress said.

Moby responded to Portman’s remarks in a since-deleted Instagram post, justifying his claims with a photo of the musician shirtless with his arm around Portman who is only faintly smiling.

But on Saturday, Moby did issue a public apology to Natalie with a post to his Instagram, saying: “As some time has passed I’ve realized that many of the criticisms levelled at me regarding my inclusion of Natalie in Then It Fell Apart are very valid.

“I also fully recognise that it was truly inconsiderate of me to not let her know about her inclusion in the book beforehand, and equally inconsiderate for me to not fully respect her reaction.”

He continued: “I accept that given the dynamic of our almost 14 year age difference I absolutely should’ve acted more responsibly and respectfully when Natalie and I first met almost 20 years ago.”

2. He rubbed his penis. On Donald Trump.

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Moby admitted that one time  he "rubbed his penis" on now-President Donald Trump. Or a "knob-touch", as he refers to it.

"Donald Trump was a mid-level real-estate developer and tabloid-newspaper staple whose career had recently been resuscitated by a reality-TV show," Moby explains.

So at a party in 2001, Moby "casually walked past Trump, trying to brush the edge of his jacket with my penis".

His penis was flaccid, Moby makes clear.

Two questions: 1. Why would you do that? 2. Why would you admit to doing that?

3. Moby makes a sandwich.

No, obviously the whole book doesn't just centre around brief sexual encounters with people not... expecting it.

Moby also recounts the time in his life when he made a sandwich while on holiday.

"I didn’t have a knife, so I used the subscription card from a copy of In Minneapolis magazine to spread mustard on two pieces of bread. I put my tofu pups and bread on a hand towel, and ate them while watching an old episode of The Simpsons, and drinking day-old carrot juice."

Yes. Moby did just refer to vegetarian sausages as "tofu pups".

That is all.

4. Lana Del Ray insults Moby.

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Image: Getty.
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Moby shares the time singer Lana Del Ray, then known as Lizzy Grant, insulted him circa 2006. Well, he thinks she did anyway.

Again divulging his sexual encounters with celebrities, Moby tells readers, "We’d kissed at the bar at 4am, just as the place was closing, and I’d asked her to come home with me."

"She’d smiled and said no, she wouldn’t go home with me after just meeting me, but she would happily go on a date if I called her and asked her out. I called her the next day, and we talked for 30 minutes about music and politics and growing up in the suburbs," he continues.

"She was beautiful, smart, and charming; making plans to meet up with her was both what I wanted to do and what my new therapist had told me to do."

So they went on this date to a vegan restaurant and then returned to his five-level apartment where he invited Del Rey to play music on his piano on the second floor of his apartment.

"Floors in an apartment. Moby, you know you’re the man," Moby recounts Lana Del Ray saying to him.

The singer clarified her remarks, telling the techno-musician: "You’re a rich WASP from Connecticut and you live in a five-level penthouse. You’re The Man. As in, ‘stick it to The Man’. As in the person they guillotine in the revolution."

He adds: "I didn’t know if she was insulting me, but I decided to take it as a compliment."

Lana Del Ray then leaves the apartment after they apparently share a goodnight kiss and then that's the end of his relationship with Lana Del Ray.

Cool.

5. His kiss with Christina Ricci.

Oh. It's another weird and very brief encounter with a young woman that Moby has decided to share with the world for no apparent reason.   

This story centres around actress Christina Ricci, then 20 years old, after the two connected after one of his Los Angeles' concerts in 2000.

"After the show Christina came backstage. Everything about her was beautiful," remembers Moby.

"With her perfectly straight, short black hair she looked like a voluptuous Louise Brooks, come to life in the twentieth century.

"After two bottles of champagne Christina and I got into my black stretch movie-star limo and went bar-hopping in Hollywood."

But Moby forgets to mention that Christina was actually under the legal drinking age in the US at this time. But anyway.

Moby says he brought Christina back to his hotel room as they drank more champagne and watched the sun rise. And the he kissed her, of course.

And that is the five strangest moments from Moby's memoir. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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