real life

'I'm a millennial who spent too much on brunch and now I can't afford a car.'

I’m sure you read all about it yesterday.

Bernard Salt wrote for The Australian that millennials are spending their house deposit on brunch and the internet blew up in flames, engulfed by articles too outraged to be outraged so they simply took the piss instead.

They went a little like this:

I know this because, ah, more than one friend tagged me in the articles.

You see, I am the kind of millennial that ruins everyone else's reputation. When conversations at work inevitably cover why millennials aren't that bad with money and to be fair, house prices are inconceivably out of reach, I sit pretty tight.

When my parents ask my how my saving is going I smile, knowing full well they will never know the contents of my bank account until they realise I'm 40, can't afford a house but have spent the last 20 years eating overpriced toast with more than one coffee in tow.

Or at least, that was the plan, until last weekend that plan was blown wiiiiiiiiide open.

It was 4am on a Sunday morning, someone had slammed into my parked car so hard it was pushed 100m down the road and it was then and there that I realised that my poor car was dead and it wasn't coming back. Of course, insurance covers it.

But you should also know that Reggie, as he was so affectionately known, was also known most of the time as the worst car in Victoria and insurance would only give me so much back. Say, the cost of my next brunch date.

And so I found myself carless, with little in my bank account and nothing to show of the few years I have been (albeit part-time) working. I had accidentally spent most of my earnings on brunch and if it wasn't so stupidly depressing, it would almost be funny to the point where I'd laugh and tell you that you genuinely couldn't make this shit up.

And although I'm not dumb enough to speak on behalf of all millennials who have a penchant for a breakfast they could conceivably DIY at home, I have a small, tiny, very slight hunch that although Salt's article was fairly tongue in cheek, he's not not totally off the mark.

I am certainly not the only millennial who spends too much money on breakfast. I'm just sure the others have a car, is all.