Let me kick this post off by telling you what it’s not.
It’s not a lecture. It’s not a judgement. It’s not a criticism.
And it’s certainly not an attack on anyone – that’s a message to the headline writers at other sites who like to pit women against each other every time we express ourselves.
This isn’t even an opinion. It’s just information I’m going to share with you about my experience. You may or may not find it helpful.
So put your fists down, I’m not here to fight.
I first became a parent 19 years ago and like anyone embarking on motherhood, it’s the steepest learning curve I’ve ever climbed. I’m still on it.
Today, my kids are 19, 10 and 8 and I have learned so, so, so many things.
Most of them have been through trial and error, but I’ve always gravitated towards reading about the experiences of people who are further down the parenting road than me.
It’s why I wanted to read about pregnancy before I had a baby, about birth when I was pregnant, about having two kids when I had one, toddlers when I had a baby and so on and so on. Chicks LIKE TO BE PREPARED FOR THE FUTURE and we learn that most by hearing from other women who have already been there. No judgement. Just sharing.
This Glorious Mess is the podcast where all aspects of parenting are discussed. Post continues…
One of the most difficult, frustrating things about having kids in 1997, so long before my friends and peers and so long before the Internet was the lack of information about what my future might look like.
The past week in particular, I’ve watched the often passionate discussion around ‘sharenting’ – how much is too much to share about your kids online. This is an important conversation to have and one that must not be shut down with censorious calls of “don’t judge” which really means – don’t express an opinion different to mine. Or any at all.
We’re the first generation of parents in history who have had to navigate the intersection of parenting and the Internet. We have a lot to discuss!
The baseline is this: anyone involved in a debate about how safe or sensible it is to share photos of your kids is already a great parent.
Because the shitty parents are not worried about such things. They are too busy abusing or neglecting their children to worry about the potential negative effects of posting pictures of them on Instagram.
Here’s something else to remember: open discussions about parenting have value and are indeed necessary as we all try to work shit out for ourselves. The way women have always done this is by TALKING, gathering information and then sharing it. But the kids at the centre of these debates – the kids of celebrities for example – are not the kids in the world whose well-being we should be worried about. They’re fine. They have decent parents who love them. They’re not in actual danger.