These are all the things you should be doing if you're a woman.

The modern woman has a lot on her plate, and while it would be great if it was gluten free, dairy free and FODMAP friendly, sometimes all you can muster in life is the chowing down of a bowl of cereal in the shower.

As our founder and publisher Mia Freedman writes in her new book Work Strife Balance, the latter – the balance part – is total bullsh*t.

Launching her book in Sydney today, Freedman explained that women are expected to have, or aspire to, the mythical idea of work-life-balance at all times. Preferably while making sure we have a thigh gap.

She also rattled off an exhausting, but by no means exhaustive, list of all the other things you should be doing in you're a woman.

Consider this your checklist:

Cutting up teeny-tiny organic sandwiches in the shape of Disney characters for our kids' lunch boxes.

Having the right number of kids, at exactly the right time. Calling them the right names too, obviously.

Making sure they're resilient. And tolerant. And socially engaged.

From my lot to all the mums: happy Mother's Day and balance is bullshit. We're all just doing our best. #workstrifebalance ???????????????????????????????? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by Mia Freedman (@miafreedman) on May 13, 2017 at 5:40pm PDT

Building our social media brands while wearing nice undies.

Scheduling regular date nights if we're married, and if we're not married constantly explaining why the hell we're not married.

Making time for breast checks. And mammograms. And skin checks. And pap smears.

Finding three hours every three weeks to go to the hairdresser to get our grey roots covered.

Mia talks all things 'Work Strife Balance' in an exclusive behind the scenes podcast. Post continues... 

Choosing between our bum and our face if we're over 35, while also trying to establish whether we're perimenopausal or just in a REALLY bad mood.

Leaning in, like Sheryl Sandberg tells us to.

Lying down, like Arianna Huffington tells us to.

Eating paleo.

Going vegan.

Eating organic, cruelty-free and fair trade.

Trying to catch up with what's going on in Washington, because at any given moment you might have to start building that bunker and stockpiling your baked beans.

I can't remember a craze happening this quickly. It's the new loom bands and in our house we've just jumped on board. That's the weekend then! #fidgetspinner

A post shared by Mia Freedman (@miafreedman) on May 5, 2017 at 4:23pm PDT

Checking in with our parents about their latest medical concerns.

Racing to school for open day, Harmony Day, Mother's Day, concert day, dancing day, sports day, swimming day and assembly day.

Preparing Instagram-perfect but also nutritionally balanced meals.

Wondering how the hell nude selfies can be empowering and all the while trying to work out how on earth to use Snapchat.

And contemplating, of course, if we remembered to worm the dog and update our LinkedIn profile...

Is anyone else exhausted? Well, you're not alone. Now might be the perfect time to grab a copy of Mia's book.

Work Strife Balance by Mia Freedman is available now through Macmillan Australia, RRP $34.99. You can grab your copy here.

And you can read what the Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull had to say about it here.