This week I discovered something disturbing during my travels across the Internet: Men don’t like sequins, apparently.
According to Sydney blogger Bree Nowland, “unless the vibe you’re going for is 70s roller disco party, leave the sequins in your wardrobe,” ladies.
And it doesn’t end there, things that sparkle are just ONE of the ten cardinal clothing sins being committed by women nationwide- and repelling members of the opposite sex.
In her piece published on The Urban List, Nowland enlists the help of **men** to demystify the art of dressing for their benefit. (Thanks again, men and sorry for all these years I’ve dared to leave the house without getting you to okay my outfits.)
High-waisted jeans are officially out, because contrary to your over-inflated sense of self worth, men are thinking, “your butt looks long, saggy and sad,” and you are reminding them of their mums.
Oh, that date you had who never called you back? It’s probably because you wore a tunic.
Birkenstocks? In public??! You’re dreaming mate.
I’m not going to regurgitate the whole list (you can read it here), but basically the take home is, if you are going on a date with a man for some reason (yuck, men), strip down to your stilettos and you MIGHT see him a second time.
Make sure you wear make-up though (you’re not an animal), just not too much of it… OMG YOU JUST CONTOURED YOURSELF TO A LIFETIME OF CATS YOU IDIOT.
Look. I know what you’re thinking. Now I have this handy list of dos and don’ts, it sure seems unfair that men don’t have one too.
I thought the same thing, so I asked **women** to help me compile one.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen… consider this a public service announcement- and go grab your petrol cans because these are the items you need to burn immediately.
1. Slogan T-shirts.
Not all slogan T-shirts? Yes, all of them. If you need to say it on a shirt, you probably don’t need to say it at all.
There is never an excuse for wearing a fedora. Seriously, how much sun protection do you need when you’re trolling women on the Internet? Because that is clearly all you do if are someone who owns a fedora.
3. Nipple singlets.