As Mel B's dad took his final breath, she promised him she'd leave her allegedly abusive ex.

Content warning: This story includes descriptions of domestic violence that may be distressing to some readers.

In 2007, Spice Girl Mel B met Stephen Belafonte, an American film producer.

At the start of their relationship, all appeared well. The two married mere months after dating and by 2011, they had welcomed a daughter together, Madison. 

But throughout the relationship, Mel B alleged there was violence, abuse and assault. Only in recent years, has Mel B found the courage to share her story.

In 2014, what was supposedly going on behind closed doors began to emerge. During that year, Mel B missed an appearance as judge on the X Factor UK because she was rushed to hospital. When she next turned up for filming, she had visible bruises which viewers and the media picked up on.

Recognised around the world as lively, boisterous Scary Spice, she said she became withdrawn and quieter.

"You're living in a nightmare, and then tell the outside world that everything is fine because you're so embarrassed, and riddled with guilt, and worried that nobody's going to believe you," she explained to The Guardian recently. 

Watch Mel B speaking about sharing her story. Post continues below.

She said that with hindsight, she could recognise the behaviours used to keep her in their relationship. Mel B alleged coercive control, which she didn't know was a thing at the time, began soon after they married.

"It starts with tiny things," she said. "'Oh, don't wear that dress – I've bought you this dress'. It wasn't like: 'Put this dress on!' It was: 'Look what I've bought for you! I saw you looking at it on Net-a-Porter.' And you think: 'Oh my God, that's so sweet!" when actually they're starting to take over everything."

She said Belafonte insisted she only wore certain colours.

After her decade-long marriage to Belafonte ended in 2017, the singer turned X Factor judge went public with allegations that he had subjected her to sustained abuse, including "multiple physical beatings", drugging her, hitting her, choking her and forcing her to make more than 20 sex tapes.

He denied the allegations and claimed she was addicted to drugs and alcohol. Hours before a trial relating to the alleged domestic violence was due to start in Los Angeles, Mel B and Belafonte reached a private settlement.

This week, Mel B opened up about her decision to leave the marriage, saying it had been a long time coming but a challenging journey. At the UK Conservative party conference, she was campaigning for the current UK government to ensure the "massive issue of domestic abuse" doesn't get lost from the main agenda. 

The meeting was organised via Women's Aid, as Mel B is a patron for the UK domestic violence charity.

"I'm probably the last person you would expect at a Tory conference. I can't quite believe I'm here myself. I'm not here because I'm Mel B, Scary Spice from Spice Girls. I'm here because I’m Melanie Brown. As a Spice Girl I'm the embodiment of girl power, and for 10 years I was completely powerless over this man," she said. 

She explained that throughout the marriage she had tried to leave on multiple occasions, but had been unsuccessful at the hands of his manipulation. She also alleged that he would control her money and passport, leaving her isolated.

"There was no way out. I couldn't pick up the phone to call my mum or my friends. And it didn't happen overnight. It happened bit by bit by bit. They chip away at you," Mel B said.

In her speech, Mel B said she was able to break free after her dad, Martin Brown, died. As he drew his final breath, she told him: "Don't you worry, Dad, I will leave him."

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by “scary spice Mel B” (@officialmelb)

Reflecting on the serious impact of domestic violence, Mel B asked the crowd of attendees: "How many more must die?"

"We need to reform everything, the courts, the police, even GPs, even people in your work environment, HR, you need to have a safe place where you can go without any shame and know the warning signs," she said. "I'm here to say that abuse happens to everyone, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, whether you're thin or curvy."

It was only after returning to home in Leeds, England and attending a support group for abuse survivors that Mel B realised her story was not unique.

"It's like abusers have all read the same handbook. Before you know it you don't have your own front door key, or you don't even drive your own car anymore," she said to The Guardian. 

"Those 'privileges' which we worked so hard to get – your nice car, your nice house – are slowly taken away from you. Your power is taken away and the only person you have to rely on is your abuser."

And after leaving Belafonte in 2017, Mel B had a tattoo cut out of her skin.

'Stephen, till death do us part, you own my heart,' the tattoo down her side read. But after ten years with Belafonte, Mel B had escaped what she alleges was a violent and abusive relationship, and decided to have the name cut from her body.

She also 'had her vagina surgically scraped and new tissue put in'. After she had physically healed, Mel B's journey with emotional healing was more complicated.

But support groups and speaking about her experiences have helped. She used to have nightmares nearly every night. Now it's only a couple of times a month.

Today, Mel B is focusing on herself and her three daughters – Phoenix, 23, with Dutch dancer Jimmy Gulzar, Angel Iris, 15, with Eddie Murphy, and Madison, 11, with Belafonte. 

And earlier this year she received an Order of the British Empire medal for her work as patron of Women's Aid. 

Now, Mel B says she is in the process of regaining her self-esteem. And that's something to celebrate.

"I've learned to like myself again. I genuinely do. It took me a long time to say that, but I think I'm really engaging, and I'm really nosy, which makes for a good listener. Yeah, I think I'm great."

If this has raised any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service.

Feature Image: Instagram @officialmelb.