But what exactly happens on Christmas Day when you’re royal? Will it be the weirdest, most intimidating experience of Meghan’s life? Thanks to some
Googling and speculation thorough investigation, we now know what Meghan is in for on December 25.
And she’s going to need a stiff drink or three to get through it.
The festivities will kick off for Meghan on Christmas Eve, when she’ll trek it up to Sandringham House, the Queen’s country estate in Norfolk. But she can’t just waltz in at any time and dump her duffle bag in the room with the biggest bed. She needs to time her entrance after the Queen, who gets in early to check all the silverware has been appropriately polished, but before pretty much everyone else.
Why? Because the royals arrive according to how important they are. Should she get there too early, she might catch Liz in her dressing gown, but too late, and her in-laws might think she thinks she’s better than them all. No one likes the standoffish new fiancée, right?
It’s going to be kind of awkward anyway, because Kate wasn’t allowed to go to Christmas until her and Wills were married, not engaged like Meghan and Harry. Kate knows it. Wills knows it. Meghan knows it. There will be tension. They will politely smile through it, and laugh about it next year.
Then, at precisely 4pm – literally, the moment the hundreds of clocks presumably at Sandringham chime in unison – the entire family should magically materialise in the White Drawing Room. Here’s hoping she has a map.
Listen: Mamamia Out Loud discuss why Meghan Markle’s Christmas Day will be 100 per cent more hectic than yours. (Post continues after audio…)
Here, they will put the finishing touches on the Nordman Fir tree cut from the 1,000 acre estate. Meghan will pluck up the courage to place a couple of baubles on the tree, which the Queen will probably have a butler rearrange because they weren’t put on right. Over sandwiches – sans crusts, of course – and scones with Earl Grey tea (this will be a test which Meghan will need to have studied for), everyone will receive a timetable and room-plan so no one has an excuse to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Next will come the customary Christmas Eve opening of presents. As an almost indistinguishable bead of sweat rolls down her forehead, Meghan will watch her future nan-in-law open her gift.
Days before, she will have asked Harry, ‘what the f*ck do I get your nan?’, to which he would have responded, infuriatingly, ‘she’ll love anything you get her’. Hopefully, she would’ve seen right through that because, no, the Queen of England will not love whatever you get her. She will smile, then silently judge you and hold it against you for the rest of your royal life.
SO, it’ll be a big moment for Meghan. If she’s smart, which she is, she’ll have sought Kate’s advice, who once made the Queen some homemade chutney. Brilliant. If Meghan has bought her a Thermomix or a spa voucher, it’ll be a bloody disaster. Everyone knows the royals get each other joke presents because, like, what in the world could a royal really need they haven’t already had fetched for them?