Australian model Megan Gale, 41, has opened up for the first time on her devastating miscarriage in May of last year, just as she was starting her dream role as a judge on Australia’s Next Top Model.

Speaking to InStyle Australia for their February 2017 issue, the 41-year-old – who is already a mum to two-year-old so River – said she just felt “nervous and horrible” on the day of her eight-week scan, knowing that something wasn’t right.

A big thank you to @msemilytaylor and the team at @instylemag for listening to my story and allowing me the forum to share it. It’s an honour to grace your cover and feature in your pages. A wonderful start to my new year! February issue out tomorrow ❤️ Tap for details

A photo posted by MEGAN GALE (@megankgale) on Jan 10, 2017 at 11:25pm PST

“I can’t put my finger on it—there was no physical change or a sign or symptom…[I wondered] if I was being overprotective and paranoid, or if something was wrong,” she said.

“I hopped up on the table and [my obstetrician] put the ultrasound on my tummy. He just kept moving it and not saying anything and I started to feel sick.

“He was quiet, and then he just said, ‘I’m so sorry, it’s gone.'”

Megan said she and partner Shaun Hampson, 28, had been thrilled to discover she was pregnant in May.

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A photo posted by MEGAN GALE (@megankgale) on Dec 31, 2016 at 3:54pm PST

“It took us six months with River…so we thought, let’s try around April and see what happens. I found out in May and I was so thrilled it had happened so quickly, and a little bit shocked. My body was [changing]…and I was hoping to hide it, but I felt very pregnant,” she said.

She revealed she fell ill just before starting her role on the show: “I had a cold, flu, I got laryngitis, I had a chest infection – it just got worse and worse”.

“I’m a bit of a nerd in that I just love to be professional and do the best job that I can. But I thought, ‘It’s worth it at the end of it because I’m going to have this baby,'” she said.

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A photo posted by MEGAN GALE (@megankgale) on Oct 16, 2016 at 12:22am PDT

The model and actress said her biggest fear was the news “getting out and spreading like wildfire”.

“I wasn’t prepared to deal with everyone knowing,” she said.

“Anything surrounding your conception as a woman, as a couple, is extremely intimate, and it needs to be handled delicately… feel absolutely passionate about it – especially now with what we’ve gone through – because I’d always get asked ‘When are you going to have a baby?’ And when I’d had River, ‘When are you going to have another baby?’ I lose count how many times a week—whether it’s in an interview, whether it’s friends, family, someone at the supermarketI don’t know…it happens [to women] everywhere.

“It’s such a personal question, and what makes it that much harder to answer is when you’ve been through some kind of hurdle with conception.”