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Climate change is a conspiracy for world domination, says Tony Abbott's advisor.

Listen up, sheeple. Tony Abbott’s chief business adviser wants to open your eyes to a global conspiracy.

While it is probably cold comfort to the people who had their houses washed away in a freak storm two weeks ago, here’s the thing: climate change is not real. The United Nations just made it all up. In fact, the planet isn’t warming at all, extreme weather events are actually declining and those assholes in at the UN aren’t interested in saving the world. They just want one thing…

World domination.

At least that’s what Maurice Newman, aka Tony Abbott’s chief business advisor, thinks. You see, according to Newman, the whole global warming thing was just one big ol’ big hoax created by the UN to impose their authoritarian rule over us all and steal all of Australia’s wealth and power.

For a slightly more realistic perspective: The one where Waleed Aly slams Australia’s action on climate policy.

“This is not about facts or logic. It’s about a new world order under the control of the UN,” Newman wrote in The Australian today.

“It is opposed to capitalism and freedom and has made environmental catastrophism a household topic to achieve its objective.”

Newman penned the column to coincide with a visit from the head of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, Christiana Figueres, and in it argues that there is no basis for scientific modelling linking climate change and global warming (Welcome to Australia, Ms Figueres).

“It’s a well-kept secret, but 95 per cent of the climate models we are told prove the link between human CO2 emissions and catastrophic global warming have been found, after nearly two decades of temperature stasis, to be in error,” he writes.

“Why then, with such little evidence, does the UN insist the world spend hundreds of billions of dollars a year on futile climate change policies?

“The real agenda is concentrated political authority.”

Stand down, science. Stop hugging those trees, you filthy hippies. Everyone who had their houses destroyed by a natural disaster, just stop whining. It was the fucking UN all along.

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This is isn’t the first time Newman, who heads the Prime Minister’s business advisory council, has tried to share his scepticism on climate change. Last year, he wrote a piece in which he warned that governments had been hijacked by “green gesture politics” and were not prepared for imminent “global cooling”.

And the “eco-catastrophists” are showing no signs of letting up, he says. They have captured the UN, are extremely well-funded and have a powerful ally is the White House. They have enlisted compliant academics and a gullible mainstream media (it’s probably a surprise to climate advocates that they are extremely well-funded and influential…).

But here’s the thing: Climate change is real and happening now. 99.999% of the scientists in the world agree on this one thing. Do you have any sense of how rare that is to achieve consensus on any scientific fact? They are experts. You want experts giving you advice on the future of the world. Not some guy with an agenda that doesn’t extend past his own inflated lifestyle.

Any time, ANY TIME, that a well-funded and influential business man tells people that he is the sole suppository repository of the truth on any matter at all, you’ve got to be raising your eyebrows.

But when this same business man says that his truth is part of a wider, global conspiracy designed to keep wealthy nations powerless against what is essentially a crowd-funded bureaucracy, then really, this man needs to be removed from any position of power or influence in this country.

The fact that this anti-science, anti-internationalist zealot is advising our Government is very concerning. The next time we stand before the Security Council and push for actions on various atrocities across the globe, people will remember that ours is a Government who tips our cap to a bloke who thinks that climate change was dreamed up as a way to steal Australia’s power.

Maurice Newman is a joke – and we need  to make sure that we, as a country, aren’t part of the punchline.

Keep reading: 

The Abbott Government just bought itself a cheerleader. As voters, should we stand for this?

Is Tony Abbott the most incompetent leader of any industrialised democracy? This US think tank says yes.

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