Let it be known, if ever you find yourself watching this season of The Bachelor and hear Matty J utter some variation on the words, “I thought I’d take her…” and talk about some intricately planned date, just know this: you’re buying into a big old lie.
Why’s that, you ask? Well, after three single and two group dates, it’s become apparent Matty J is basically the etsy of the dating world – a place where vintage dates of seasons past go to find new life.
Don’t believe me? Take a look, friends.
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Single date 1: Matty and Elora on a boat.
Boats. Oceans. Endless views of sunsets and possibility. It’s all so meaningful. Or at least it would be if there hadn’t been boat dates on just about every other season before this.
The water trend began all the way back in season one when Tim Robards took Ali Oetjen on a boat in Cairns. It then came around again in season two when Blake Garvey hit the high seas with Sam Frost. And in season three when Sam Wood enjoyed a water pash with Lana Jeavons-Fellows. And in season four when Richie Strahan took to the waves with Rachael Gouvignon early in the season and again with Alex Nation during the final two dates.
During the first season of The Bachelorette, Sam Frost upped the ante, heading to the water not once, but three times, with Sasha Mielczarek, Michael Turnbull and a double date with Davey Lloyd and Tony Strugar. Oh, and there was also that time on season two of The Bachelorette when Georgia Love took MATTY BLOODY J on a boat date.
Single date 2: Matty and Lisa engage in some sports.
Oh ho ho, you thought you were sooo special, didn't you Lisa? Well, spoiler, there's a long history of sports and singles in annals of Bach Land.
Remember when Blake Garvey took Laurina Fleure skydiving? Or when Sam Wood had his own sports team and took the ladies zorbing? Or when Richie Strahan created a roller derby team and dressed them in sumo suits? (Keira definitely remembers that). Or their Tough Mudder date? Or their... not to rehash this, but... zorbing date. Or when Richie and Olena literally played tennis together before eating food and talking about 'the future'.
It's like there's a pattern emerging or something.
Single date 3: Matty and Laura draw each other.
Everyone knows that singletons and art go together like ham and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs and Osher and reality TV lovin'.
Or, maybe they don't which is why Matty J "planned" his third single date around an activity that has been done SO MANY TIMES BEFORE.