tv

The new season of Married At First Sight is coming: Here are 5 unmissable moments.

OH MY GOD IT’S HERE.

Almost three months ago, we watched eagerly as Erin and Bryce fell madly in love, Mark and Christie reluctantly traversed between the city and the country, Simone dumped Xavier, and Jono ended up alone while Clare ended up with a beautiful new dog, Ruby.

#truelove. Image via Channel 9.

And now, it's BACK.

The third season of Married at First Sight is due to start soon, and Channel 9 have dropped the first trailer for what is sure to be yet another emotional roller coaster.

Will the couples like each other? Will the producers (yet again) match two people who literally have nothing in common? Will we have another feminist hero like Erin who can't stop swearing, breaks out in a nervous rash during all crucial moments, and hasn't, for one second, thought about whether or not she'll have children?

WELL?!

The answers to these questions aren't far away. But, as we all know, shows like Married at First Sight follow a certain recipe. So we've identified the five ingredients that are likely to make an appearance this season:

Attractive woman feels insecure about her weight and appearance.

Image via Channel 9.
ADVERTISEMENT

It wouldn't be a show about women meeting men if we didn't have a voice over saying, "Am I skinny enough? Am I pretty enough? I'm so worried he won't be attracted to me."

Of course, the woman saying these words is attractive, and we can assume, given my incessant research on reality TV shows that it won't be her appearance, but her insecurities, that her new partner will struggle with.

Woman gives profound advice on how to find love while walking along beach.

"There's somebody out there for everybody," she says. "It's just a matter of finding them."

Image via Channel 9.

On national television, apparently.

Ahh. So insightful. Also, beach = credibility.

Man doesn't know how woman will react to his tattoos.

In case you weren't aware, Married at First Sight is very progressive. Men are insecure too, you guys.

ADVERTISEMENT

"My biggest fear is what she's going to think of me," says a highly tattooed man. "That I'm some sort of tattooed thug."

Perhaps if she thinks you're a thug just because you have tattoos, she's not the right person for you?

But pfft, what do I know? Best to sit and ruminate about potentially being judged by a complete stranger who you may or may not have been matched with on national television to purposely create drama.

Image via Channel 9.

One woman cannot stop laughing at the entire situation.

It's the same sound bite we get from every season of Married at First Sight. "I'm getting married," says one of the contestants.

"To who?" asks a family member, to a kicker of a response: "I don't know."

But, um, it looks like this season, there's a relative (we're guessing mother) who just cannot stop laughing.

Image via Channel 9.
ADVERTISEMENT

In fairness, that's probably how I'd react if someone told me they were marrying a COMPLETE STRANGER.

There's a WORLD FIRST WEDDING.

Every season we're teased with an unexpected wedding. It'll be nothing like we've EVER seen before. EVER.

The hype has worked, and many fans have commented on Facebook with their bets as to what the 'world first' will be. And I think they've got it right.

The majority of fans are predicting (brace yourselves) A GAY WEDDING.

YAAAAAAS. Image via Channel 9.

Oh goodness!

Could it be that after two seasons of criticism about how offensive and heteronormative the show is, the producers have decided to be somewhat inclusive?

There's only one way to find out. GOSH DARN IT we're going to have to watch.

And that, my friends, is how the reality TV recipe works.

FROM OUR NETWORK
00:00 / ???