As relationships go, I think mine with my husband rocks. We met when I was in my early 30s and we’d both had our fair share of partners before we met (and no, that’s not a bad thing – I firmly believe that having a few relationships under your belt before you meet ‘the one’ means you REALLY know when you’ve met the right one, and it stops you from being tempted to go ‘exploring’ when you finally settle down).
We formed our relationship over the phone before we even met in person. We clicked on so many levels. And then when we met, we knew we didn’t want to be apart. Within three months we had decided to move in together, and started trying for a baby soon after. Because, we just knew. It was the stuff fairytales were made of, and made me, who had always been quite cynical about love from previous failed attempts at it, believe in true love again.
Women confess; when they knew it was time to get a divorce. Post continues after video…
Fast forward a few years, and two kids later, and we’re having a bit of trouble. Nothing major, but it hasn’t been a lot of fun lately. We’ve been arguing more than either of us would like. And when I sit down and think about all the change we’ve had in the last few years it’s not surprising that our relationship is suffering.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on what the problem was at first. My husband works long hours, and I’m working from home with a baby and a toddler. Both of us are working hard and don’t have much energy left at the end of the day.
I know that we haven’t been communicating well at all. But it’s not just that. I’ve realised that since having the kids we’ve lost the fun and the spontaneity. With kids comes responsibility and a loss of freedom. And particularly when you don’t have any help around, time to yourself and couple time (I think both are essential to any relationship) are pretty much non existent. The busy-ness of life with two kids has gotten the better of us and we’ve lost some of our connection.