If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear?
Similarly, if your baby wears a Dolce and Gabbana parka, does anybody care?
These days it’s pretty clear that to ramp up your celebrity currency, nothing works like baby or a toddler: preferably cute.
And there’s little point in having that cute baby or toddler unless the world can see how adorable she is, right?
If we’re honest, (or a bit B-list) there’s no point in waiting for the paparazzi to show up – if someone more famous than you does something interesting, like buys a bunch of flowers, how will anyone know your little Orion was rocking a new pair of Burberry sunnies?
What you need is an Instagram account, dedicated to your child and her wardrobe. Then no one need miss a thing, and the world will be a happier place.
It’s not enough now to be drip-fed pictures of Kanye and Kim’s little North West. No one’s getting any sleep until we know not only what she’s wearing, but who.
The designer is key.
The designer is also keen to be seen as the creator of choice for famous baby duds and we can only imagine the gifts-with-purchase on offer: Free with every singlet worn by a baby with over 250,000 followers! Handbags, sunglasses, shoes and other apparel to the value of pretty much whatever you like!
The designer clothes may arrive as ‘gifts’ but there’s nobody doubts there’s an expectation of payment. Just not in cash.
A tweet or a shot on Instagram is the celebrity thank you note – to the designer, it’s publicity worth hundreds of thousands. To the parents, it’s a way of sharing their happiness and gratitude.
To the baby, it means less than nothing. A dusty-rose party dress from Lanvin is just another thing to drool on.