We’ve got some bad news David. Your partner wasn’t at work on Wednesday.
Yes, we know she left in the morning in her black skirt and tights, a crisp blue shirt, but she wasn’t where you think she was.
She wasn’t doodling her way through the world’s longest meeting. You’re beloved girlfriend/wife/significant other was out for coffee. With another man.
We know because Stevie Wilcock saw her in the line for coffee at the Chester Shell near Blackpool.
He posted about it on Facebook.
Thus far, despite the internet's best efforts, noone's managed to find you.
Here's hoping Stevie's got it wrong.
Meanwhile to cheer you up, here are the MM team's most crushing rejections: