sex

Oh, the things I'd pay a hot man to do...

This week, we read the story of a male escort who said that most of his clients were married women with kids…

Now, each to their own, but it got me thinking. If I were to drop a fictional $500 on a service whereby the (presumably hot) man would do (within reason) pretty much anything I asked, I’m not even sure that the first thing that would pop into my mind would be… what you’re thinking it would be. In fact, if wives and mothers were completely honest, I think perhaps their pleasure wish list would look something more like this.

Feel free to come over to my place and…

Listen to me attentively about the day from hell I’ve just had.

Starting with my story about the cat shitting in the hallway just as I’m walking out the door through to me losing the toddler for 15 minutes in Target, he would give me his complete and undivided attention. And not check his phone even once.

Rub my feet. Or my head. Or my legs. Or my back.

Look, I don’t care where, as long as he massages me until I fall asleep without the expectation of a payoff, this would pretty much be my dream come true.

Take out the garbage.

Or do the dishes. Yeah, I’d pretty much pay just to not have to do that for a night.

Feed me.

Well actually, prepare an entire week’s meal plan, buy the ingredients, prepare it and deliver it to me, Light n Easy style, to my front door. As long as I didn’t have to think about what was for dinner for a week I’d be in heaven.

Organise my life.

He would joyously and systematically go through my purse, my box of receipts and divide and add them into a manageable spreadsheet to present to my accountant for my end of year taxes. That would be lovely.

Arrange a sleep-in.

I dream of a time to wake up that isn’t prefaced with a 6.

Read my favourite book to me – out loud.

In different voices for the different characters. And make me laugh.

Look, I joke. If I’m honest, I have a good one. A good husband that is. He really does do his fair share around the house, he has to, we both work and parent equally. But it wasn’t always this way and it took a LONG time to work out how to do this whole ‘parenting’ thing and be both happy with the arrangements.

How about you, if you could pay for three hours with a man and have him do anything for you, what would it be?

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