14 tips for doing makeup when you have a toddler in the house.

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Remember the time when you had hours to pretty yourself up before leaving the house? Yeah, me neither. It’s been a rough couple of years.

So now your baby is a toddler you’ve got a little more freedom in the mornings? Ha, you’re cute. You no longer have a sleepy bub happy to doze while you put on a bit of a face. Oh no, it’s a whole new ball game now.

26 beauty truths only mothers understand

Toddlers, as you’ve probably worked out, love to be involved in everything you do. Everything. Which is great. Unless you’re trying to get out the door, use the toilet in private, talk on the phone, hold down employment or generally interact with another human and finish a sentence.

Here are some tips to prepare you for a getting ready in the morning with a toddler.

1. Prioritise your beauty routine.

The general population requests that brushing your teeth and applying deodorant are up there near the top. After that, the rest is up to you.

2. Invest in duplicate makeup brushes.

It’s likely that your child will observe the way you blend your foundation in with that expensive brush and practice accordingly on the dog later. It’s probably best if they use a separate brush for that. We all know what the dog has been up to.

3. If you’re getting ready for a day with the kids, aim for a natural look.

Choose a blush colour closest to the shade that you turn when flushed or embarrassed. In case you’re having trouble working out what that is, think back to the time your child ran into the room at Christmas holding the buzzing toy that no one but your husband saw your unwrap. Yep, there you go.

4. Use makeup to highlight your best features.

Years ago, this may have been your eyes. Now they look like little mud puddles; dark and sleep deprived. Go with a bright lipstick or a nice pair of earrings. With lots of concealer.


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5. Only buy lipsticks that matches your house decor.

You’ll thank me later.

Looks great on your couch...

6. Don't store anything important/embarrassing in the bottom drawer of your bathroom.

Your child will pull EVERY. SINGLE. ITEM out of it every day while you do your makeup, so you want to make sure nothing matching the above description goes missing.

7. Shower in the morn... oh wait, haha.

Yeah right. It's not your damn birthday. Well, maybe it is.

If so, buy yourself a cake. No one else is going to; you may as well get one you like.

Would you only shower twice a week? (Uh-huh, we said week)

8. Get your eyes accustomed to having sharp objects poked into them.

It's probable that your child will choose the exact minute you're applying mascara to break something/draw on something/eat something filthy and so you want to be prepared for the shock of the wand hitting your pupil as you turn your head sharply to address the situation.

9. Buy non-toxic shampoo and conditioner.

Your kid will undoubtedly drink them at some point during your morning routine. Saves a trip to the hospital.

10. In your spare time, watch YouTube instructional videos on perfecting the smokey eye.

HAHAHAHAH! Kidding. I put that one in just for laughs.

11. Get used to leaving the house with one eye of liner on.

Or keep a spare eyeliner in the car. There is no way in hell you'll be afforded the luxury of completing both eyes in one sitting and chances are you'll get distracted and forget to go back and complete your face.

12. Bronzer is great for creating a sun kissed look.

All over your bathroom tiles.

13. Bed hair is in.

Which is hilarious because you've probably spent absolutely no time at all sleeping in an actual bed.

14. Once upon a time you used to gossip with your girlfriends while you put your makeup on for a night out.

Now you spend your primping time explaining why exactly pants are required EVERY day, and debating the merits of not sticking sharp objects in power points.