I have a makeup confession I need to make.
You see, very time I painstakingly used four different products to achieve a flawless base, nearly took my eye out with eyeliner or an eyelash curler, spent 15 minutes trying to even out my wings, played around with electric blue mascara or covered my eyelids in purple eyeshadow, I had an ulterior motive.
It was all a trick, a carefully planned guise, designed to make me look more attractive to men. I am in fact, an alien. We all are.
Me without makeup.
But seriously. Men, we need to have a chat.
You see, a new study from YouGov in the US has revealed that 63 per cent of men feel that women “mainly wear makeup in order to trick people into thinking they’re more attractive”.
Sorry to break it to you, but I’m not spending hours watching YouTube tutorials when I should be sleeping or dropping $60 on a lipstick (so exxy, but so worth it) to “trick” or even “impress” you. It’s very much for me, myself and I. But, if it comes with a compliment from a stranger in the bathroom or another makeup lover, then who am I to complain?
It's not just males though. Perhaps even more concerning is the fact that many women feel the same - 55 per cent of people surveyed in fact.
There's certainly no denying that putting on a bit of makeup can boost your mood or confidence.
But the belief that a woman's passion for something creative is all a big ol' trick to lure mankind into our Better Than Sex and Orgasm-filled lairs is not only laughable but offensive.
Listen: Zoe Foster Blake shares her best beauty tips. Post continues after audio.
It's another form of makeup-shaming that berates women for wearing too much makeup or for the wrong reasons, then slams them for 'daring' to go bare faced.
Women (and increasingly more men) wear makeup for lots of reason - self expression, enjoyment, to be creative, to be playful, to become a character or to pretend that we haven't been up all night watching Netflix/with a baby/on the town.
Women - beautiful with and without makeup.
Ideally, we do it because we want to and in my case, like many others, because I love to.
So trust me when I say that I'm wearing makeup in a calculated move to "impress" or "trick" you as much as you wearing white dress shoes or the same undies for the fifth day in the row to do the same.
Not at all.
What do you think?