On behalf of all the women out there, I will admit it.
My name is Caitlin Bishop and I am low-maintenance relationship wannabe.
We all do it, right? You’ve started seeing someone. Everything is super chill, no pressure. You even impress yourself with your relaxed “yes-that’s-fine-I’m-going-to-do-my-thing-too-and-I-might-see-you-after” mentality.
You are playing it so cool, you’d even date you because, if there’s anything you hate, it’s neediness.
Secretly though, the hot-mess side of your personality is bubbling away in the shadows.
Don’t get me wrong. You’re not being fake – you actually do feel relaxed, easy-going, low-maintenance. Because you’re happy and your needs are being met.
But this satisfaction is impossible to maintain over the long-term. Sooner or later you’re going to need something and even your easiest, most laid-back self won’t be able to compromise. What’s going to happen? You’re going to flip shit, and it’s going to be awfully shocking for the person you’re dating – because they have no idea how Uma Thurman Kill Bill crazy you actually are.
Thankfully, we are all the same. Everyone. Men and women.
We’re all in love with the idea of a low maintenance relationship but it is actually impossible. A psychologist says so.
“I like to say that all people are ‘annoying’; there’s no such thing as a person not being annoying,” Dr Stan Tatkin author and psychologist told Your Tango. “And there’s no such thing as a low-maintenance person up-close. They may look that way from across the room, or in an affair, but you get to know that person very soon that person’s going to become high-maintenance. If people understood that, people’d be a lot happier.”
But what about all those irritatingly-envy-inducing couples? The we-never-fight-and-I’m-just-so-happy relaxed pair who always look like they’re on vacation?
Sure, they might have an ‘easy’ relationship, where both people in the couple communicate in a similar way, and have similar needs, desires, plans, etc. But even easy relationships should have conflict, and issues and occasional ugliness.