“You have the wildest sex life,” I regularly get told.
And as a 34-year-old single sex writer who routinely shares all the intimate details of her time under the sheets, they’re mostly right.
Except there’s one teeny tiny fact that I’ve been leaving out. That despite being in my peak orgasmic period, I’ve never wanted sex less.
I blame a multitude of factors. Mostly, dating. Because after eight long years of swipe, swipe, swipe, my will to date has died.
Dramatic? Maybe. Rational? Absolutely. Because to be honest, I’ve probably gone on HUNDREDS of dates in that time. Literally hundreds (hey, girl’s gotta eat). But after one ghosting, one red flag and one ick after the next, it’s like my libido has left for the picket line.
And really, can we blame her?
These days I could find a naked man in my bed and I wouldn’t even feel the flutter of lust let alone want to jump his bones, which really isn’t good for business. Or me, because I just don’t feel like myself anymore.
The only thing that’s calming me down in these uncertain times, is that I know I’m not alone.
Because while sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years, studies show that anywhere from one in 10 to one in three women will experience low libido in their lifetime, and don’t even get me started on what menopause can do to our sex drives.
Beyond that we’ve got plenty of reasons for not feeling like a hornbag, including relationship problems, stress, anxiety, biological changes, exhaustion, depression, getting older, hormonal problems, contraception, and medication. Plenty of which are more likely to affect women, you know, as more often than not the exhausted care givers just trying to look after everyone and stay on top of the washing.