Adam got a wife out of a rib.
And ribs have helped make a better wife out of me.
Ribs have become my ‘act of service’. This is a new turn of phrase for me. And it’s one that’s helping me understand what goes on inside my husband’s large blonde head.
It comes from a theory penned by Gary Chapman that we communicate our affections in five different “love languages”. Most people are drawn to one or two above the others.
The first love language is “quality time”. Love means putting aside time that’s just for the other person. Even if it’s to just to sit on the deck, share a beer and ignore twitter for an hour.
Then there’s “touch”- which is not as saucy as it sounds. It goes beyond bedroom antics – it’s showing your affection by reaching out to the other person- whether you’re resting your hand on their leg while they drive, grabbing a sneaky hug in the pantry, or holding hands while you walk down the street.
After that are “words of affirmation”. For these folks saying you love someone is important, but it’s the reasons why that mean the most. It’s what prompts Harry to list to Sally all the things he loves about her; including that it takes her an hour and a half to order a sandwich. It’s also why I cry every time I watch that movie.
Then there are gifts. These aren’t just about bling and shiny things. It’s considering what the other person might crave or adore, and making the effort to source it just for them.
“Acts of service” is the last love language. They’re when you do nitty gritty, practical things that help your partner.
When it comes to me, I’m all about the kind words and touch.
Give me an unprompted cuddle, say you love me because I’m a hard worker and I’m yours for life. Because that’s what I respond to, it’s what I instinctively do to others. I write soppy cards that circulate through three drafts. I’m an enthusiastic hugger who pats people on the back mid squeeze. These gestures make up the sentences and syntax of my ‘love language’(yes, it’s turgid terminology, but you get the idea).