How to look like Miranda Kerr in eight simple steps.

Look out, Miranda. You might be out of a job soon.

Super-duper model Miranda Kerr has spilled the beans on how she maintains her drool-worthy appearance.

So, this weekend, we’re stocking up on all the essentials and, in a couple of weeks, will no doubt be attending castings to become Victoria’s Secret’s newest Angel, all thanks to Miranda.

Having fun on set with the new #boomerang app! Woohoo ????????

A video posted by Miranda (@mirandakerr) on Oct 22, 2015 at 2:06pm PDT

Because, according to Miranda, this is what we need to do to be super-hot:

Invest in a portable infrared sauna.

Said to be good for anti-ageing, detoxification and weight loss, Miranda keeps hers under her bed. The contraptions look like a little foil tent with holes for your head and hands and will set you back $100 if you shop on eBay.

Start the day with warm water and lemon, followed by a cold-pressed green juice. And a daily glass of noni juice. And, also, aloe vera juice.

Miranda must sure need to pee a lot, with all the drinks she told Beauticate she consumes every day.

I’ve never heard of noni juice, but according to Wikipedia it has been touted as a cure-all for a number of diseases. Apparently consuming the juice has also been linked to cases of acute hepatitis and could be toxic to some organs. So I’d probably just exchange this one with orange juice, or maybe just the other juices will be enough.

Miranda says she also takes chlorella (green algae), vitamin C and probiotics daily. She has also previously praised dandelion tea with goat’s milk and maple syrup as a substitute for coffee and sugar.

Boo for substituting coffee. And it seems like that’s a whole lot of liquid for one lady.

Hang upside down.

“One of my favourite things to do is be upside down, it stretches out your spine,” Kerr says.

The mother of one said her friend put her onto the upside down machine, or else does headstands to get her blood flowing the other way.

Have ice-cold showers or baths with baking soda and sea salt.

Not only is baking soda awesome for cleaning things around the house and putting on bug bites, but Miranda also likes to chuck a pound of it, plus a pound of sea salt, into a really hot bath. “That really helps me with jet lag and relaxing, it’s also detoxifying,” she says.

While that’s a special treat, an everyday essential for the popular model is an ice-cold shower – even in winter – to feel reinvigorated. It should be followed by dry body brushing, body lotion and facial cleansing, exfoliating, age-defying phytox oil (an açaí oil and plant acid product made by her skincare brand, Kora Organics) and makeup.

Buy a spoonk mat.

Miranda has repeatedly posted on Instagram about the Japanese spoonk mat. The mat is definitely not as dirty as it sounds – apparently based on Shiatsu massage, it uses plastic spikes to stimulate pressure points.

She says it makes her “feel good” and has even offered her followers a special discount code to buy the product, which make us suspicious it may be more product placement than personal preference…

Never forget the heart chakra essence.

Miranda puts her Kora brand Heart Chakra Essence on her pulse points and her heart chakra (sorry, I’m not sure where that is – you’ll figure it out, I guess).

She told Beauticate: “It’s so beautiful. It has sandalwood [a fragrant timber tree], rose otto [a fancy name for rose oil], and ylang ylang [a tropical tree I’ve never heard of, so it must be good]. It smells so good, and not only that it also opens up your heart chakra. It feels really nurturing, like you’re getting a hug.”

A product that feels like a hug? SOLD.

She is also partial to menthol balm on the neck and an energising citrus mist. I think she must smell like a lovely rainforest.

De-puff with a cold cucumber mask and chilled spoons.

The most budget-friendly recommendation on the list, Miranda says she grates cold cucumbers to make a mask and places spoons chilled in the fridge to banish puffy eyes or to refresh on a hot day.

A mask and snack in one? That’s definitely something I could get behind.

Practice daily transcendental meditation, prayer and Kundalini yoga.

Miranda says she prays in the morning and at night, meditates for around 20 minutes a day and practices an intense form of yoga that makes her “aura feel amazing”.

“If I meditate, my eyes glow more, I feel like they’re more receptive,” she says.

So, there we have it – how to look like Miranda Kerr in eight simple steps.

Honestly, I’m pretty exhausted just getting through that list. But I’ll definitely start next week…

Here are some more pics of Miranda, just so you know results to expect: