My mother and father divorced before I was even born, and to date I have never met my father nor wanted to.
While I know who my father is, where he lives and even had his last name till I was married – neither he nor I have ever attempted to make contact and I’m happy for it to stay that way.
I’ve had some idea of his movements since separating with my mother. I know he remarried and I know he had at least two more kids, but again, I’ve never really cared nor do I ever really think about it…
That is until the other day, I saw one of my ‘siblings’ popped up in the ‘people you might know’ field of my Facebook – what the actual f*&^ Facebook?
I guess I knew it was only a matter of time before I crossed paths with someone from that part of my life. I once had a boss who knew my biological father through family friends and knew about everything that happened.
But it’s only now that I have been faced with the reality that these people exist and that they actually know about me.
While the part of me that has no desire to meet my father or explore that part of my life is still strong, I can’t help but feel curious about the siblings I have who I don’t even know – or know if they know I exist?
I’ve spent the last two decades of my life as an only child, and why should it be any different as these people have never been a part of my life? But a part of me can’t help but think "they're my siblings" and wonders what they are like.
But what do I do about it? I have been estranged from my real father my entire life and have since grown up to marry and have my own children without a single thought to any of these people!
I mean how do you even begin to broach the situation? It has created so many thoughts and so many questions and I can’t help but feel that perhaps it’s a chapter best left unopened, regardless of the curiosity its created for me as there are so many other people to consider.
For one, I would never want to open old wounds for my mum, nor upset her. And what about explaining the situation to so many people who have never known this about me? Or finding out things I may not want to know?
Have you ever faced a similar predicament? How did the situation play out for you?