I still live with my ex-fiance and it’s awesome. I highly recommend it.
Not only that, it’s been nearly a year since we broke up and neither of us have any immediate plans to move on and go our separate ways. The real clincher? He has a new girlfriend who stays over and I bring home whoever I feel the need to. And this is all just perfectly fine and normal if you ask us.
I know people find it weird. Just recently I brought a date home when I wasn’t expecting my ex to be around and, drunk me, introduced him as my ex-fiancé. A heads up to the guy probably would have been appreciated, but drunk me is kind of a jerk. He was out of there before you could say baggage. My bad.
Not many people we speak to can seem to get their heads around the situation. There aren’t any kids involved unless you count our two dogs, and I’m not particularly worried about the effects of single parenting on them. We don’t own the house together, we don’t have combined debts. There really isn’t anything keeping us living together except the fact that we choose to.
Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t always smooth sailing. Obviously we had a few post-break-up blowouts (try saying that ten times really fast), especially, when we started to move on and talk to other people. But for the most part dreaming of murdering each other. We had a Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin type of breakup. We consciously un-coupled and then went back to being what we had always been, the best of friends.
When it came to the moving out part, it just didn’t happen. Firstly, we live in Sydney, so our exuberance and rent meant that not sharing was never going to be a possibility. Especially when you need a house with a backyard for the dogs mentioned above. I did find a girl to move in at one point, but then she got a job opportunity elsewhere and my ex wanted a little more time to look for his own place. So we stayed living together and then we just continued to live together.
Occasionally, the topic would come. He’d discuss looking for a place, I’d discuss putting another ad up for a flatmate, both of us half-heartedly, without any real intention of following through with the plan. Because we like living together and neither of us is in a real hurry for this to change.
These are the reasons why.
1. We still love and respect each other as friends. We enjoy being around each other, hanging stuff on each other, pulling pranks, etc. Who doesn’t like a permanent sleepover with their bestie?
2. We know each other’s habits and idiosyncrasies and have accepted the weird shit we both do. Unlike with any potential random flatmates, there are generally no weird surprises to come home to.
Some exes live together under… less amicable conditions: