If you find yourself dreading holidays, landmark calendar events and birthday dinners, you could be suffering from this condition.
If you avoid phone-calls from family and friends the day after one of these occasions, you probably are.
Because you know what they’ll ask. “Did he ask you?”
You are suffering from proposal purgatory.
I have never been proposed to. I haven’t even thought very hard about my proposal apart from a few vague ideas (drinking champagne on a boat at sunset when a friendly passing dolphin swims by and offers me a diamond ring, I say yes and then we eat strawberry cheesecake), because only losers think that stuff out beforehand, amirite?
Picture this: You’ve been in a loving, committed relationship for years. You and your partner live together. You know exactly which board games you both enjoy. You’ve discussed the future, not just once, but often and at length – how many kids will you have? Where do you see your careers going? Which suburb do you see yourselves living in?
You’ve met the (hopefully future) in-laws, you’ve seen each other wee, and you might even have bought a cat that he’s allergic to but that you insisted on (you have my full support).
In short, you’re ready to get married.
You’re going to get married.
But you’ve been waiting a really, REALLY long time for your partner to ASK you if you want to get married.
So long that you’re starting to drop cryptic hints about dolphins and cheesecake that are making your other half feel confused and uncomfortable.
So long that you’re starting to wonder whether something’s terribly, unfixably wrong with your relationship.
So long that you’re starting to prepare your cat for a future as a child of a broken family by telling him that mummy will always love him and buying him a teeny-tiny cat suitcase he can use to carry his fluffy ball to his father’s every other weekend.