My first child birth was nothing like I expected. I thought it was going to be a day where I would be empowered, strong and proud. I had expectations, I had a birth plan and I knew exactly what I wanted. But, I wasn’t well educated and certainly not prepared for an emergency caesarean when all I wanted was a calm, drug free water birth. I felt ripped off. I felt like a failure. And I felt like less of a woman because I didn’t get to go through the motions of labour or have a ‘natural’, vaginal delivery.
Then came the baby blues, that massive hormonal change you go through when your milk comes in. I started to feel very depressed about how he came into the world. I was naive to have not considered or prepared for all the scenarios, having concentrated so much on what I wanted instead of having an open mind. I set myself up for disappointment by having expectations.