If I may speak candidly, red heads get a pretty rough shake of the sauce bottle.
We burn. We have to smile and laugh when people who don’t even know us call us ‘ginger’ like we’re friends. And finding a red lipstick to complement our already quite vibrant redness is a slog.
Because, for us (assuming you are, indeed, a ranga lady like me), not all red lipsticks are created equal.
But when we find ‘the one’ that suits us perfectly as if the stars and heavens have aligned, we wear the bejeesus out of it until its once perfect tip is nothing more than a melted mess.
Friends, I have found said red lipstick.
After years of searching, I have finally found the ultimate red lipstick for rangas that won’t make you feel like a tomato.
It’s called Glam Slam Pout Pop Lipstick by Mecca Max, and it’s THE ONE.
The $20 long-wear lippy has a creamy, matte finish that won’t dry out your lips, and comes in a bloody cute yet addictive pop top tube.
"But how do I know it's 'the one'?" I hear you whine because us rangas are inherently conditioned to question things that work for regular-haired people.
So let me assure you this isn't just the ravings of a red-faced lunatic driven mad by the makeup aisle. Guys, this is science.
Science is the reason why your blonde mate's red lippy looks awesome on her but makes you feel redder than you already are, and why Glam Slam WILL look awesome on you.
Listen: Is it problematic to try on lipstick in the store? (Post continues...)
Here to back me up is makeup artist, Natalie Wright, who assured me a) I'm not crazy and b) it's all in the tones.
"There are two types of red lipsticks - blue-based and orange-based. Glam Slam is blue-based, meaning it has a cooler tone and contrasts with your red hair," she told me as I shoved my holy grail lipstick in her face.
"Orange-based reds tend to have a warmer, pinky/orange-y tone, which bring out the, well, orange in your hair, freckles, skin tone etc."
THIS explains the whole 'am I part-tomato?' conundrum, but the proof really is in the pudding.
Above, you'll see me, a ranga, wearing a red shade (orange-based), which looked amazing on Sophie Monk when she wore it on The Bachelorette, but looks shite on me, and then a blue-based shade which is much better.
So run rangas, RUN to your nearest Mecca Maxima and nab yourself a tube of this lipstick before all the others take it when they know full well they can wear any damn red lipstick they want and we can only wear THIS ONE.
Sorry, I just have a lot of feelings about this lipstick.
No need to thank me, my fellow red heads. Seeing you out and about working your Glam Slam red lippy is thanks enough.