Let’s just get something clear from the get-go: I don’t dance.
I mean, I can sway fairly convincingly at a live gig, and I’ll be pulling shapes with the best of them on a 2am dancefloor.
But dance dance? Like choreographed, don’t-forget-the-moves, kick/spin/jazz hands kind of dancing?
Nuh. NO WAY.
With that in mind, way back in 2011 I took a Janet-Jackson-style step out of my comfort zone – and agreed to dance in the Melbourne Pride Team Mardi Gras float.
As a straight girl with an outstanding friendship circle that includes many, many LGBTI pals, sexual orientation is never really something that I register when it comes to contemplating my mates.
Gay, straight, crinkle cut – I don’t care. But as the years have gone on and friends have struggled with very real issues associated to their orientation, such as marriage, adoption, and pregnancy, I found myself becoming very protective of them.
It was therefore an honour to walk – no, DANCE – with the Melbourne Pride Team on their 2011 ‘Not Your Sport’ float.
When I was preparing to write this article, I looked back through the grainy footage of our float. And, apart from the first flush of Oh my god, could I get any more awkward? a big grin was stretched across my face. What a fun night, and what an unforgettable experience!
After training for months leading into the parade, the Melbourne Pride team had put together a killer routine to Missy Elliot’s We Run This. I still can’t hear that song without getting nervous jitters.
The theme was American gridiron player meets…er, well, I don’t really know. Sexy stripper? Space lingerie? Futuristic football alien model stripper? You be the judge.
Watch some footage from the 2015 Mardi Gras below!
(Post continues after video)
The day of the parade was spent getting ready in our hotel room, amidst a sea of bobby pins, hairspray, glitter, and me dry-retching at the thought of dancing. Dancing in front of a crowd. Dancing in front of TELEVISION CAMERAS.
But, after hours of pacing and panicked last minute dance practice, it was time to leave the building. In black pleather hotpants, fishnets, a football jersey and a mohawk, I caught the elevator down to the street, took a deep breath, and walked out with the crew.