Oh my God, something has happened.
I’m trying to stay calm. I’m taking deep, steadying breaths. I am calm. I am calm.
I HAVE JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY 20 YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION IS ON IN JUST A FEW SHORT WEEKS.
Apparently it’s been on the boil all year. Had I known it was even a possibility I would have been straight on the plane to Thailand for affordable cosmetic surgery.
I kid (I’m not kidding).
I had a plan. I’ve been planning my attendance at my high school reunion with the same, psychotic, unnecessary hysteria I planned my wedding with. I was going to:
- Have my teeth repaired and whitened;
- Get a gorgeous, expensive and amazing haircut and colour that takes years off me;
- Have all my stray hairs lasered;
- Grow my nails longer and stronger;
- Lose weight and tone up;
- Eat healthier foods so I look healthy and happy;
- Save up and buy an expensive outfit and matching shoes that don’t look like I’ve tried too hard. ‘Effortlessly chic’ is what I wanted people to whisper as I floated by;
- Learn how to do my makeup properly.
Clearly this now wasn’t going to happen. I can’t afford 1, 2, 3, 7 and 8 and I don’t have time for them either.
To add insult to injury I just got the worst haircut of my life from a random hairdresser I found at my local shopping centre. I look hideous and wherever that hairdresser is now I hope she has severe hay fever or an unsightly yet temporary facial rash.
Suffice to say I am at DEFCON 9. I am in a state of absolute panic.
Jo pauses to take some deep, steadying breaths…
Thank goodness we have the iVillage ‘Chaos to Control’ three month program kicking off to help get my life, and your life, in order. Over the next 12 weeks we will offer you advice on everything you need to do to shake up your life. Afterwards you’ll be a happy, healthier, more organised version of yourself, the self you’ve always wanted to be.
I’ve realised that I normally live in a constant state of chaos. Everything is done in a state of panic. What I was missing was control. I am in charge of my life, my food, my schedule, my health and that’s an important role, the MOST important role. The more attention I pay to controlling everything that is important to me, the more successful and enjoyable I find each and every day. It makes me feel happier, healthier, more confident, stronger and I even think I’m going to be able to walk into my high school reunion without doing a few shots first.
Well, maybe just one.
Lick, sip, suck!
No really, for the next few weeks if you see me eating a donut or snacking on chocolate SLAP IT OUT OF MY HAND. I absolutely have to look fabulous. I'm not normally so vain but it's my school reunion! Plus I should start being a little more healthy. I'm not getting any younger!
Join me in my journey from chaos to control...
30 ways to lose weight and drop a dress size in 30 days
Did you know you can drop a dress size in just a month? It can be done by making some simple changes to your lifestyle that don't involve food deprivation and sweating it out in a gym. All you need to do is swap some of your food choices, walk more, get your beauty sleep and breathe baby, breathe.