By Mamamia ROGUE
So having a kid is ridiculously rewarding and fills you with a kind of love that you’ve never known and it’s just so awesome and it changes your priorities for the better and blah blah blah love love love.
Yes – understood. ALL THE LOVE ETC. What we don’t often hear about though, are the practical benefits that come from having a mini-human.
Benefits that, if we’re being totally honest, single people don’t even come CLOSE to receiving. IT’S JUST NOT FAIR. Having a kid gives you exclusive access to so much awesomeness – it’s almost enough to make you want to procreate. Almost.
1. You don’t have a good enough excuse to get out of stuff
You can pretty much use a kid to get out of EVERYTHING, including, but not limited to:
Crappy social situations: “Oh, I so wish I could be there! If only I didn’t have this darn kid to look after… Next time!”
Awkward conversations: “Oh my gosh! That’s so annoying about your boyfriend’s sister’s cousin’s bitchy mum, but I just got a txt saying my kid’s sick! Gotta go!”
Staying back late at work: “I hope you guys don’t stay too late, I’ve got to pick up my kid. Byeeee”
2. You don’t have a kid to blame shit on
Turn up to work with breakfast on your shirt? “My kid did it.” Not up to date with the latest world crisis because you were watching Honey Boo Boo last night? “My kid was watching TV.” Your iPod is filled with every Disney soundtrack ever released? “It’s for my kid.”