Elle was diagnosed with blood cancer. 48 hours later, she found out she was pregnant.

In 2016, Elle’s life changed forever. All in 48 hours, she was diagnosed with an incurable blood cancer and discovered she was pregnant with her first child. She’s sharing her story in support of Cancer Council NSW’s Here for Life campaign, raising awareness of their vital support line that ensures no person must face cancer alone.

I felt the breath sucked out of me when I first heard the word ‘Leukemia’. Then my senses started to disappear. First went my hearing. A ringing started in my ear which blocked out my doctor’s voice as he discussed the details. My peripheral vision went black and it felt like I was plummeting down a dark hole.

I went to the doctor because I had caught a stomach bug and needed a medical certificate. While I was there, I requested a blood test to check my folate and vitamin D levels, as I was hoping to start trying for a baby later that year. The test result showed high platelets and after more testing, I was told I had Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia (CML).

In this episode of No Filter, Elle shares more about her story with Mia Freedman. Post continues after podcast.

When I discovered I was pregnant only 48 hours after that diagnosis, I didn’t think I could feel anymore distraught, but it turns out I could. It just created another level of complexity and anguish to what I was already feeling.

I was strongly advised the safest route would be to terminate in order to start cancer treatment. But the idea of aborting my child to undergo fertility treatment just seemed like the cruellest paradox, and after much discussion, and further discussions with a world CML expert, I chose to take the risk and delay treatment. At 36 weeks I gave birth to a healthy baby boy, who started school this year.

Elle with her son. Image: Instagram @ellehalliwell.

One of my largest challenges has probably been my mental health. Having to come to terms with having a lifelong condition, on top of all the other regular challenges that come up in life, has been both a blessing and a curse. It’s made me realise that adversity is essential for growth and self-actualisation and can make you more grateful for every day above ground. But let’s not sugar coat it; having a chronic cancer – with the constant appointments, drugs and side effects – can really suck.

You feel very alone and having Cancer Council’s 13 11 20 Information and Support line, a phone number that I could just call to get advice, seek support and even just ask simple questions about the logistical challenges that come with a diagnosis was so helpful. I want other people in situations like mine to know there is a number they can call if they are struggling.

I have struggled with anxiety since my early 20s, which recently returned, along with a bout of depression which I’m not being treated for. I want to be completely honest about chronic illness – whatever it is – can have a huge impact and the more we talk about this openly, the less of a stigma there will be around it. It’s so important that people are made aware of services like the 13 11 20 Information and Support Line- no one should have to face a diagnosis alone. 

It is so important that people get the  help they need. 13 11 20 is there for anyone affected by cancer, including loved ones and carers. They can feel so powerless and distraught seeing someone they care about going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment, and for them acts of service can help them to feel better also. It’s a win-win, so if a friend offers to wash your sheets, let them! 

I’m still taking an oral chemo called Tasigna, which I take twice daily. I tried cessation of treatment last year but fell out of molecular remission, so had to restart it again. It causes skin rashes, fatigue and reduced immunity, but these are things I am managing with healthy eating and regular self-care. If the treatment keeps working, I should grow old. Considering the life expectancy before the year 2000 was about three to five years, it’s a pretty good outcome!

Some days are harder than others, but overall I feel more appreciation and gratitude for life than I did before my diagnosis, so in that way it’s been a good thing. Cancer Council NSW’s Here For Life Campaign really highlights the importance of the little things in life and being more than a diagnosis. My world stopped the moment I was diagnosed with cancer. But for all the grief which came with it, this pause also gave me time to appreciate all the beauty that existed in my world, that I’d been too busy to notice. 

I made a promise to myself that for the rest of my life, no matter how much of it was left, I would do my best to savour the small amounts of wonder.

Six years on, I am now teaching my son to do the same. To look for the magic in the everyday complexities.

Image: Instagram @ellehalliwell.

Cancer Council is standing by everyone living with cancer, protecting life’s moments, for life. If you need to talk about cancer, call us on 13 11 20.

From Tuesday, 11 October to Thursday, 13 October, there will be a bright yellow phone box on the QVB Forecourt to raise awareness of Cancer Council’s vital 13 11 20 line. Members of the public are invited to come along and learn more about 13 11 20 and the Here For Life Campaign, and show their support for people affected by cancer. To learn more, visit Cancer Council NSW. 

Feature Image: Instagram @ellehalliwell.