By NICKY CHAMP
According to the world’s tabloids, she’s been pregnant with John Mayer’s, Gerard Butler’s and Justin Theroux’s respective babies, she’s endured at least 16 phantom pregnancies in the last five years and oh, yeah she’s also been pregnant with twins.
If you hadn’t already guessed, we’re talking about Jennifer Aniston. The latest (and ongoing) target in the despicable celebrity bumpwatch game that takes a female celebrity’s body and makes it a target of weight gain speculation.
Is she pregnant?
Is she bloated?
Is she eating her feelings?
Did she HAVE PASTA FOR LUNCH?
Despite Jennifer Aniston’s representative, Stephen Huvane, denying the 44-year-old is expecting, it hasn’t stopped a barrage of online and tabloid articles suggesting the actress is pregnant to fiance Justin Theroux.
You may be mistaken in thinking that there is an inkling of proof or even a “source close to the star” but no, there’s none of that. No, you no, evidence.
It seems that afemale celebrity only has to touch her stomach, be unfortunate enough to catch a gust of wind in a floaty dress or have – gasp! – a rounded belly on the red carpet, for the pregnancy rumours to snowball.
Overnight Aniston wore a tight satin dress to the New York premiere of her latest flick, We’re the Millers. The dress hugged her non-concave stomach and two weeks ago she had the gall to touch that same stomach – a gesture far more reliable to tabloid press than a Doppler or an obstetrician’s ultrasound.
The media – tabloids in particular – have made watching women’s bodies a sport. And subsequently those women’s weight gains and losses have become the tabloid’s prime story lines. And in the middle of all this tummy-gazing and scrutiny we seem to have forgotten a very simple but very important fact.
STOMACHS ARE NOT NATURALLY CONCAVE.