Exactly why we should encourage our kids to fail small.

When was the last time you failed at something? Yes, it’s a slightly unpalatable thought (we as humans do not enjoy being less than awesome), but be honest. For me, it was the homemade pizza I made last night. I absolutely charred the base. There were many recriminations from my family. Even the dog turned up his nose at the piece that fell onto the floor. Welcome to Fails-ville, population: me.  

In the big scheme of this gloriously messy life, it wasn’t a big deal. Lessons were learnt (make sure the pizza DOES NOT slide off the baking paper while still in the oven), and I moved on. And that’s the thing about failing as an adult; for the most part, we regularly experience small failures. Be it signing off an email to your manager with a kiss or burning a pizza base, we know what a little touch of failure looks and feels like. We know it's not life-threatening and, for the most part, it doesn’t stop us from trying again.  

Our kids, however, haven’t flexed their failure muscles like we have. Failing looks different to the under 12s. Way different. And as we strive to raise strong, creatively confident and resilient kids, this isn’t ideal. If failure is the enemy, it's very hard to use it as an opportunity for growth, which is what we want our kids to do! 

How can we help our kids develop a better relationship with failure? It all starts with play.

What the research tells us.

Kids don’t enjoy failing. I mean, no one does, but kids don’t quite know what to do with the emotions that it stirs up. This is especially true for girls in the five to 12 age bracket. Research from The LEGO^® Group which surveyed 61,500 children from 36 countries, found that two-thirds of girls feel reluctant to share their ideas due to fear of making mistakes, with three in five feeling societal pressure to be perfect.

It’s that strong fear of failure coupled with a strong sense of perfectionism that leads to a lack of creative confidence. 

Thankfully, it’s not all bad news. The same research found that over 80 per cent of children felt that there was one safe space to explore their creativity without worrying about making mistakes. That safe space? Creative play.

Building creative confidence, one brick at a time.

As a teacher and a mama, there is not much I don’t love about creative play. Giving kids the chance to express themselves and be led by their imagination is a potent tool for learning, self-expression and yes, failure.

LEGO play gives children the safe space to flex their creativity however it unfolds. And yes, sometimes this means that their ideas will end in failure, but — and this is the critical part — that’s okay!  

My girls have been diving deep into the LEGO Friends Vintage Fashion Store, and it’s been the perfect set to let their creative minds really run wild. The set includes a shop and workshop, LEGO Friends Mini Dolls with their frankly amazing outfits, a cute furry companion plus a selection of accessories, giving them all they need to unleash their creativity and build their own unique worlds.

Image: Supplied. 

When we first unboxed our kit, I purposely withheld the instructions from the girls. "Let’s just see what we can create" was my only instruction. And create they did. Initially hesitant to "break the rules" and build something different from what the box showed us, the girls soon realised that the only limit was their own imagination. 

Did every design they came up with work? Absolutely not. 

Did some fail absolutely spectacularly? You know it. 

Did it come crashing down due to one engineering failure? It did. 

Failures aside, what didn’t work was almost as fun as what did. The girls built on their creations, learning as they went, valuing progress over perfection and as they did, their creative confidence skyrocketed and so did their designs.

The power of words.

Play is important, especially for girls as they strengthen their 'small fails' muscles. You know what’s equally as important? The language we use around play and the creative endeavours they share with us. 

I know I am guilty of slipping gendered language into my discussions with my girls. "That’s so cute" is my fall back for so many things they create. Shifting my language choices towards those that encourage a growth mindset and using words like "imaginative", "creative" and "inspiring" has had a positive impact on their creative confidence. 

LEGO play has opened up a whole world of opportunities for shifting our mindset from fixed to growth.

Image: Supplied. 

When things didn’t quite work out how the girls had imagined or pictured in their minds, it was not uncommon initially for them to get frustrated; "I can’t do this", "It’s too hard", "I’m not good enough!".

However, shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth-oriented one, where they embrace thoughts like "this is hard, but I’m trying my best," has equipped the girls with a valuable tool in their self-belief toolbox.  

Shop LEGO^® Friends sets online or in-store to help build creative confidence through play.

Feature Image: Supplied.