Picture this. This morning, I was in bed (also accurate for ‘this afternoon’, ‘all day yesterday’ and ‘right now’) and felt the need to use my laptop from the comfort of my blankets.
My laptop was on the floor about a metre away.
Rather than swing my feet out from the warmth and take one step to pick it up, I slowly pulled the heater by the cord so that it scooped my laptop into my outstretched hand, while I remained fully tucked and cosy under the covers. And then I had two things – my laptop, and an immense feeling of pride.
That’s right, pride.
If you too are proud to be lazy, blink once! I won’t ask you to do anything more strenuous, because I know you. I am you. I am lazy, and I am damn proud of it. If you are judging me for being a particularly lethargic sloth, then it is important that you read on. Because, my overly-energetic friend, this is my belief.
Lazy people deserve more credit.
Too often I will end a deliciously lazy day, where I have spent majority of the day in my trackies on my laptop, with a non-delicious aftertaste of guilt.
Why? Because I know from Facebook that other people spent their day off working out at the gym, reading Bill Bryson, curing cancer, baking thousands of treats for homeless disabled blind dogs and recycling. If you are one of the culprits who posts not-so-subtle Sunday statuses bragging about all the crap you ‘achieved’ with your productive busy-ness, then here is my response.
Firstly, I don’t necessarily believe you. I think you might be telling fibs to make yourself feel/look better. (Next to the ‘like’ button, Facebook should have an ‘I call bullshit’ button.)
Secondly, I don’t necessarily care. Nothing bores me more on Facey than a mundane boast along the lines of ‘200 squats at the gym this morning! Now to get all the Christmas shopping done in August, cook a super-healthy meal for the whole neighbourhood and then read A History Of Everything’.
Thirdly, whoop-de-fucking-doo. I could have achieved everything you did in half the time and with a quarter of the effort. Because I am a lazy person. And ‘lazy’ is just a derogatory term for ‘efficient’.
Here’s the thing – I do all the regular tasks that should be done in a day, but my laziness has inspired me to create shortcuts so everything gets done faster and with less effort. I don’t see that as a bad thing. It gives me more time for the things I love doing, whether that is getting back into bed and working on my laptop, or going to the gym (hahahahaha, just kidding) or watching an entire season of a TV show (which I can claim as ‘studying’ because I’m an actor).