'You must be so jealous.' Laura Henshaw on always coming in second to her best friend.

Laura Henshaw, author, law graduate and co-founder of holistic fitness and wellbeing app Kic, is beautiful, fit, happily married and lives in an immaculately styled home.

The 30-year-old former model 'has it all' on paper – but as she explains to Clare Stephens on this week's episode of But Are You Happy, that doesn't mean life is perfect.

Often being classed as the 'number two' to her best friend and co-founder of Kic, Steph Claire Smith, has been challenging.

"A lot of people compare us," Laura tells Clare about her relationship with Steph.

"I remember when we got engaged... and there was this whole article on how I copied her. [When] my wedding was cancelled, people were saying things like, 'You must be so jealous' because Steph had a beautiful wedding and then she had a baby. I can laugh at that now as I never felt jealous and I would say probably it's not jealousy, it's more comparison."

Watch: A clip of Laura Henshaw on the podcast, But Are You Happy? Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia.

Laura says that constantly being compared to Steph and her personal and business achievements is an ongoing challenge, especially when in the past, businesses have chosen Steph over her for opportunities relating to Kic.


"When people choose the other person over you, then you often default to thinking, 'Well, I'm not good enough, or I'm less than' or 'I'm number two', and it was hard to navigate in the first few years.

"I felt like I was just it was easier to kind of default [to Steph] and to protect myself by just saying that, yes, 'I'm number two', and 'it is what it is', because then you never fear failure... you kind of just accept that you're number two.

"But now it's very different. And I feel like we've really both grown into who we are and we're two different people. So if Steph is chosen for something, I can say hand on heart that well, yeah, that makes sense. Because that's what Steph does and she's really good at that and she adds that value there. And then if I'm chosen for something, she would think the same thing.

"I'm sure there'll be times where that's not always the case, because we're human and those feelings are completely normal, but that's how we're able to navigate it right now and if we were jealous of each other, it would be very hard."

The advice Laura has for other people who are struggling with feeling 'second best' in a duo, whether that is in a family, relationship or business dynamic, is to shift your perception.

"It's such a tough one, and it's something that I've had to work through quite a lot. Being in a duo with my best friend, now I'm finally in a place where I don't feel like number two. I feel like we're really equal and I think it was nothing to do with Steph, I was 100 per cent to do with me. And I think we are doing ourselves a disservice and really disrespecting ourselves and what we're capable of by always putting ourselves as number two." 


Listen to Laura Henshaw on the podcast, But Are You Happy? Post continues below.

And if you're going into every situation expecting to be second and not to be seen, consider why that might be, advises Laura.

"When you are number two, number one is always first and you're the background. And I don't think anyone should feel like they live their lives in the background.

"Some people might feel comfortable there and that's okay. But I think you really have to ask yourself, 'Am I here because I'm scared that I'm not good enough?' [Do] you think you are not good enough to be the person in the front?

"I always say that by always being 'number two' you protect yourself from rejection. And you are accepting rejection, even in the times that are important to you. And it hurts, and that's not fair to you."

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Senior Lifestyle Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Instagram @laura.henshaw

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