There is a commonly held belief that women prefer large penises.
From rom-coms to sitcoms, everyone seems to be talking a lot about the fact that ‘size matters’, and ‘bigger is better’.
I agree, size does matter.
And when it comes to penis size, I would like an average to below-average one, please.
I have come to this decision after much discussion and an adequate amount of experience (I will not confirm how much experience, but it’s enough to be scientific about this).
And after one too many mornings when sitting was only possible by doing a basic yoga move, I decided to call it.
Big is not best. Big is often painful. Big is mostly just confronting and a little bit terrifying.
And I know it’s not just me who is (anonymously) willing to voice this opinion.
With a quick poll of my friends, I had the following very good reasons that average is everything a girl could ever ask for.
It makes dating hard.
“I briefly dated a guy with a massive penis and it just didn’t work out. Granted, we only attempted to have sex once and we didn’t know each other super well, but it was incredibly painful (we abandoned the whole thing after a few attempts) and made the whole encounter really awkward. I was a lot younger then and had no idea how to broach the topic or talk about a solution, so I’d probably cope differently now.
Also, the thought of having that in my mouth… I struggle enough with average-sized ones so can’t even imagine.”
It restricts positions.
“I couldn’t go on top, because the angle… it was basically like he was bashing my uterus.”
They can result in…changes.
“They aren’t actually better because they hurt, you can’t do all the positions and you have to get used to them. But then you get stretched – and that can’t be good.”
They can make you slightly bitter in the long run.
“It wasn’t your excessive cocaine use that turned me off you, it was your extremely large penis that made me feel like my vagina was on fire after we finished. Seriously – I needed an ice pack.”
They can result in blood loss.
“I actually started to bleed – I think he punctured a lung.”
They can prevent the very outcome and purpose of sex.
“It was really difficult to ‘finish’ because I was focusing too much on not wincing.”
I should note, this is not to say that large penises are out entirely.
It is merely to provide another voice in this over-saturated penis market that continuously cries for the very biggest there is.
You’re welcome, world.
In case you haven’t had enough photos of things that look like penises, please enjoy this gallery:
*The author of this post is known to Mamamia, but has chosen to remain anonymous because, well, she gets sent enough dick pics as it is.