Kim Kardashian-West wants a $1 million present – a diamond choker necklace – for having her second baby.
Not just any diamond choker necklace. She wants the Lorraine Schwartz diamond choker that she wore to the Art + Film Gala.
She said so in her blog. Right before a post on Casual Cool (lots of pics of Kim looking at the camera) and right after Instagram Saturday (lots of Instagram pics of Kim looking at the camera). And when I said Kim “said so” I mean she most probably sat on a couch bigger than most living rooms, sipped on a fat-free green smoothie and told a ghost writer (who is being eaten up by another really huge couch in the corner) what she wanted her blog to be all about that day.
Picture this. Kim says: “For my next blog, I want to talk about how I want a million dollar diamond choker as my push present, because life isn’t fair and I have to carry a baby for nine months [sips green smoothie thoughtfully] and then give birth to it. And that’s, literally, unfair.”
The ghost writer sinks further into mouth of couch...
"Make it sound like me, but fun and easy-going. Oh, and use heaps of exclamation marks, [sips green smoothie] because the the general public need to know how I feel. Also put in some LOLs, so that people know I'm relatable..."
As the ghost writer got to work, Kim had a sleep, or went shopping, or went to a party, or had her nails done, or a procedure done, or her hair, or something that involved money and appearance. Because you would, wouldn't you?