Forget blaming it on the dog. Try blaming it on your toddler.
Last night, Kim Kardashian put a sexy picture of herself on Instagram.
But Kim says she didn’t post the pic herself.
She says it was two year old daughter, North West, who shared with the world a picture of her mum looking hot in a gold bikini. By accident.
Kim insisted that her two-year old daughter, who is apparently an infant technology genius, was responsible for posting the pic: “North posted this while playing games on my phone. Not sure why or how she chose it but I’m not complaining!”
The photo is from the mid-2000s (evidenced by Kim’s excellent belly-chain), probably some time around the time that the Kardashians’ tv show first aired in the US (when life was simpler and less Kardashianful).
Most people are familiar with the strategy of blaming mishaps (forgotten homework, rogue farts) on the family dog.
But an entire world of options opens up when you realise that you can blame things on a two-year old: “Sorry that I sent you that message late last night when I told you what I really thought. The neighbours’ toddler was playing Angry Birds on my phone”. “Sorry that I posted that super-sexy photo of myself from that time when I looked really great. A toddler found my external hard drive from ten years ago and uploaded it to my laptop and then sent it to my phone and posted it to Instagram.”
Remember when Ellen “helped” Kim Kardashian pick out a name for Baby No. 2?
North has obviously been spending quite a bit on time playing on her mum’s Instagram lately. On Thursday, Kim/North posted an old picture of Kim in a corset, lamenting the comments that she missed being skinny (“skinny daze #imissu”).
Kim K has made no secret of the fact that she doesn’t like pregnancy. Not even a little. She wrote in a blog titled, “How I really feel about pregnancy” Kim wrote: “I’m gonna keep it real: For me, pregnancy is the worst experience of my life.”
Swelling, backaches and “the complete mindf**k of how your body expands and nothing fits” were Kim’s main reasons for not enjoying the experience: “I just always feel like I’m not in my own skin. It’s hard to explain. I don’t feel sexy, either — I feel insecure and most of the time I just feel gross.” She kept it very real about pre and post-partum bummers: “People just don’t tell you all of the gross things that happen during pregnancy or after. Do you know you basically have to wear a diaper for two months afterwards?! LOL! No one told me that! #SoSexy”
Kim’s second child is due at Christmas time. Last night, Kim posted to Instagram last night a picture of the exclusive outfit Baby Boy Kimye be wearing home from the hospital:
No doubt the new baby will be a source of joy to the family.
And if we’re lucky, a source of more flashback photos of mum in a bikini. Kids love doing that.