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'I get it Kim Kardashian. I blame stuff on my toddler too...'

I get it, Kim.

If you are living in a lovely, sound-proof, social media cave you may not have heard that Kim Kardashian’s and Kanye West’s lovely toddler, North West, allegedly posted a photo of her heavily pregnant mother looking like this to her 50 million Instagram followers while playing on Mum’s phone …

Kim Kardashian in younger days.

Kim later captioned it: “North posted this while playing games on my phone. Not sure why or how she chose it but I’m not complaining! LOL I deleted it so now reposting it myself! #FBF from 10 years ago.”

Isn’t she adorable that little North West? What a funny thing to do! She is really across her filters for a two year old.

I mean, sometimes my kid draws a picture of me too. But it looks a little more like a deranged monkey that does not know how to dress herself or change facial expression.

Hmmmm.

Me 1

How a two year old managed to track down a ten year old photo on KK’s phone while watching presumably watching Peppa Pig is beyond me…

I can barely find the Uber app when I desperately need it and I am grown woman. My two year old on the other hand – she is basically Steve Jobs.

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Let’s call her Hector. (Not her real name.)

Hector is completely au fait with every aspect of my iPhone, iPad, Kindle and Netflix account. She is a handful – or as other educational professionals with more tact like to put it – she is “lively”.

While I am sure it is possible little North West is a little more refined than Hector, the truth is a two year really does take it out of you. They have so many demands, and outfit changes, and toilet trips. And they really  know what they want when they want it. Which is code for – I want everything ALL OF THE TIME.

The truth is Kim, I get it. While I think your tale that North West just happened to post a gorgeous bikini pic of you is pretty much bull, I understand the need to blame random things on your toddler.

We all do it.

Just the other day when I backed into a parked car in a deserted car park I blamed Hector for screaming in the back … I mean who else’s fault could it be?

And when I am late to school pick up and my shirt is unbuttoned to the waist because I forgot to do it up after feeding the baby – I blame Hector. Clearly it was her fault that I cannot dress myself.

And when people come over and my house looks like a rave has just finished up …. you guessed it… I blame Hector! Because you know…toddler = messy !

You see Kim the only difference between you and me is that my stories are just a little more believable!  (Also sometimes you have far better clothes).

Fiona and her toddler.

Despite my little Hector being a terror she is also the light of my life – and a very convenient get out of jail free card!

The thing is every one knows the absolute pain of the terrible two’s.

I think the lesson from Kim is that when you feel stuck there is always a way out. Don’t blame it on the sunshine, don’t blame it on the boogie, don’t say the dog ate your homework!

Just blame your two year old… most of the time it works just a treat.

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