If someone told me years ago that my relationship would one day change, I would have laughed and said no way.
I write this from a very raw part of my heart. The other night I lay there crying for unknown reasons [okay, maybe not unknown – the utero was having it’s monthly party] as I tried to go to sleep.
He was snoring his busy week away and I was wide awake thinking of all the things we used to do. How different we use to be. I was mad at him for changing. I was mad at myself for changing. It is no ones fault. Its just a moment in our life where I can say – it’s not all roses and handcuffs.
The long date nights have gone.
The sleep-ins are non existent.
The surprise weekends away, we can no longer afford them.
The new underwear – seriously who even made edible underwear “excuse me whilst I finish my mouthful of cotton candy, shit I’ve got a hole in my tooth, that hurt”…. Completely impractical.
The long hot showers, are now luke warm and we’re tag teaming kids in between.
The late nights are now laying there silently with our backs to each other hoping the other one will get up for the crying baby.
The text messages that use to read about how much they love you and why. Now they’re more likely “ Babes got my period, get pads – wings. Don’t forget the bloody wings. Hazelnut magnums, not the minis that means I have to eat three, I’d rather just eat two big ones. And whatever you and the kids want for dinner. Can’t cook dying.”
The spray tans and shaved beaver are now for birthdays, nights out and possibly [I mean possibly] because I just simply feel bad for him.
Children are hard work. They do put a damper on things. Some people may be able to keep their shit together but some people, like us, we find it hard to balance.
The children have become the number one priority and at some point we need to learn to put our relationship towards the top of that priority list. I think in time it will become that way again. You have to make it past these difficult times to get there. It’s not that its even difficult, its just different. And sometimes different is really hard.