The Australians we would happily swap for 50,000 Syrian refugees.

If only it were so simple.

Britain’s most hateful attention-seeker Katie Hopkins has been vocal about her disdain for the plight of refugees in Europe, and never more offensively so than in a column for The Sun called Rescue boats? I’d use gun ship to stop migrants.

“No, I don’t care,” Katie Hopkins wrote in her April column. “Show me pictures of coffins, show me bodies floating in water, play violins and show me skinny people looking sad. I still don’t care.

“Watching them try to clamber on to British lorries and steal their way into the UK, do I feel pity? Only for the British drivers, who get hit with a fine every time one of this plague of feral humans ends up in their truck.”

Not super popular… Katie Hopkins.

Since that dehumanising screed, there have been calls for her to be sacked from the paper, which haven’t been heeded.

Following the publication of the photograph of three-year-old Aylan Kurdi, whose tiny body was washed up on the Turkish coastline after he and his family tried to flee Syria, she’s remained steadfast in her views.

So some Brits who consider the I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here contestant a national embarrassment have taken action and begun a Change.org petition to swap her for 50,000 refugees.

Katie finds it amusing, of course:

Hopkins is unconcerned, and has posted links to the petition on her Twitter account.

“It has become fairly clear that the UK needs to do more to help and save the lives of innocent refugees making their way to Europe in order to flee the situation in their home countries… The UK however has currently not got the space for refugees, no this is not because we are full it is because Katie Hopkins massive head takes it all up…” read the petition.

Unfamiliar with Katie Hopkins? Here she is at her charming best… Post continues after video.

Video via LBC

The petition’s creator Ben Fletcher proposes that Hopkins be sent to Syria to free up the space that her “massive head takes up” for more those more deserving.

So far, it’s received more than 57,000 signatures.

So we thought, well, we believe Australia should be taking in more refugees too. Whose enormous heads are taking up space that could be filled with refugees fleeing poverty and violence?

Here’s who we came up with.


Pauline Hanson

Our very own Katie Hopkins, Pauline Hanson, has been uncharacteristically quiet of late, but, with a slick of blue eyeliner, she was back with a vengeance this morning.

Hanson came out with the usuals this morning: refugees are taking jobs, causing violence and building too many mosques.

She appeared on Sunrise along with Derryn Hinch this morning to discuss the refugee crisis and really did herself proud. My favourite moment was when she said, “I’ve met a Vietnamese taxi-driver”. She probably has even met one of the gays!

Watch Pauline Hanson and Derryn Hinch go at it… Post continues after video.

Mark Latham

Latham’s tirades have targeted pretty much everyone, including on of our own Mamamia writers. He’s a “bigot, a deviant, a hypocrite” — those are his kind words, by the way, to ABC host Johnathan Green.

Mark Latham has been rather angry of late.

Cardinal George Pell

Cardinal Pell, a man of money God, was allegedly complicit in the abuse of kids at St Patrick’s College in Ballarat. He denies it, but the Pope’s very own commissioner for child protection has called him “a dangerous individual” and “sociopathic”.

Cardinal Pell.

Nick Kyrgios

I know, he’s young, he’s hot-headed. But you’ve got to admit he’s seriously unpopular. I mean, there’s sledging, and then there’s trash-talking a young girl in front of the entire world. Happy to swap.

You only have to be slightly less of a jerk, Kyrgios, and the whole country will love you, because SPORTS.

Ray Hadley

Hadley’s a bully whose big, booming voice needs to stop shouting others down. He was really upset when Woolworths pulled singlets that read, “If you don’t love it, leave” off the shelves. We think it’s only fitting…

Ray Hadley’s eyes scare me.

That couple who refused to get married if same-sex marriage is legalised.

Good Christians (this is exactly what Jesus would have done, right?) Nick and Sarah Jensen from Canberra said as a protest, they would divorce if same-sex couples were allowed to marry. Consider yourselves swapped.

They’d better start prepping the kids on their dumb and pointless divorce.

The “Candy Man”, aka Travis Beynon

Australia’s biggest douche’s favourite activities include walking women like pets and fondling humongous fake breasts. No great loss here, then.

High flyer: Travis Beynon thinks he’s some kind of Gold Coast Hugh Hefner, and we all know about that lothario’s bedroom prowess (hint: nonexistent). Image via Instagram.

Stop The Boats ‘campaigner’ Kim Vuga. 

Not for Kim the traditional epiphany after her appearance on Go Back To Where You Came From. Oh no. Kim came back from seeing the horrors of refugee camps on the SBS doco-series to support those lovely bigots at Reclaim Australia and blast Jimmy Barnes as a “disgrace to Australia” for not wanting his music yelled along to by racists. Consider yourself swapped, Kim.

Anyone to add to this list?

00:00 / ???