The word you say 25 times a day is holding you back.
It’s the one word we use WAY too often.
In the words of that old copper-haired crooner, Elton John, sorry seems to be the hardest word. Well, that’s not the case for many women, myself included. We say “sorry” as automatically as we say “yes” or “hello” and probably more frequently.
I say ‘sorry’ at the drop of a hat for the smallest things that are, more often than not, in no way my fault.
Just yesterday I was at the supermarket, where a man very inconsiderately parked his trolley across the aisle while he looked for something, blocking my path. Instead of saying, “Can you please move your trolley?” what did I say? You bet I did…”sorry”. As if the fact he had left his trolley parked in a ridiculous spot was in some way my fault.
What on earth did I say sorry for? The man was being an idiot, HE should have been the one apologising.
He reluctantly moved his trolley out of my way, in no great hurry, and I smiled as I went past. I’m pretty sure I even uttered the word “sorry” again as I passed.
A few days before that, I was standing in a queue at a café when a waitress rushed past me and accidentally stood on my foot. What did I say? You betcha, “sorry”. Let’s be clear here, she stood on my foot not the other way around. If she’d spilled the coffee she was carrying on me I probably would have said sorry too.
These are only two examples that I can recall. I know I’ve said sorry way more times in the past week, and for no good reason.
So why do women insist on apologising all the time? You may have noticed that most men, on the other hand, don’t feel the need to do this.
In most cases saying sorry is nothing more than an automatic reaction, a space filler, something we seemingly have no control over.
But perhaps it’s time to take some control of our apologising?
I can’t help but feel that by constantly saying sorry, for things that are not our fault, we are undervaluing ourselves, and our self-esteem. It can also create an imbalance in our personal and professional relationships, sending the message to others that we think we are always responsible for any conflict or miscommunication.