Thought I’d buy a lipstick last weekend. You know, add a bit of colour to the mid-winter slump. Channel a bit of Jolie. It didn’t seem like a biggie at the time.
But Oh. My. God. It was. This was the purchase that stopped the office, that caused a teenager to laugh RIGHT IN MY FACE and had my friends talking behind my back.
Because this is my first lippy. Ever. Oh, for gods sake, stop gawking. I can’t be the only woman who’s bypassed lipstick for more than three whole decades. Riddle me this: what is actually wrong with paw paw cream? Actually?
Look, I don’t really know how it happened. One minute, I was at the Mac counter buying foundation, the next I was perched in front the mirror with a very nice girl painting me up like the love child of Marilyn Manson and The Joker. I finally settled on Midmauve (Lustre), aka A65, which I think you’ll agree is lovely and neutral and a perfect first lipstick for someone who’s never worn lipstick.