Those wily royals. They’ve done it again.
You were pretty proud of those photos you posted of your kid yesterday, weren’t you? The one where their toothy grin beamed through a mess of ice-cream, one of them in the Westfield Santa queue, all hopped up on shopping and sugar.
And then… Kate and William and their tiny titled offspring come along and blow us all out of the water.
If you looked at this photo of Princess Charlotte this morning:
And thought, ‘How cute, how classy, how understatedly perfect’ then you need to get yourself out of your pyjamas and over to your nearest Overpriced Baby Shop NOW, because there is about to be a stampede run-out on teeny-tiny little cashmere cardigans and doll-sized floral smock-frocks.
While you are there, you need to get yourself a pretend puppy, STAT, because after executing the extremely high level of difficulty of including a REAL dog in past family photos, the royals have retired Lupo from official duty and replaced him with a fake version. Charlotte does not seem to mind:
And if you are one of those parents who think that whacking an oversized bow or flower on your baby’s head will suffice until the curls grow in to let the world know she’s a GIRL, you need to burn ALL the evidence of that, right now. Because suddenly, NOTHING is cuter or more desirable on a baby girl than a complete lack of frou frou and a palette of subdued neutrals. What are you, a monster?
Just remember: the royals are better at baby pictures than you. Than me. Than any of us.