It doesn’t take a surgeon to figure out that childbirth can change a woman’s body in myriad ways.
Some of these changes, particularly the external ones, are immediately obvious. Others will only make themselves known weeks or months after the fact, like the first time a couple has sex after a baby’s arrival.
It’s not really a question you can bring up in polite conversation (margharitas with your best friends, on the other hand…), so we’ve rounded up some honest first-person accounts of having sex post-baby from around the net. Some are positive, some will make you wince, and others are surprisingly… not that scary.
1. “A little uncomfortable.”
“The first few times were a little uncomfortable and awkward, but worth the effort because we began to look forward to making one another feel good again… You have to start somewhere and all those lovely endorphins that bind you together will help bring back the interest.” — Anon Reddit user
2. “Rough, and not in a good way.”
“Having sex for the first time after my daughter was born was ROUGH, and not in a good way… It hurt way more than losing my virginity and it was actually only like half-sex. I made him stop before he was all the way in, because the baby was five feet away in her bassinet and I was pretty sure I was gonna scream. I still felt kind of broken down there and needed more time to heal emotionally and physically.” — Claire
Watch: Dr Ginni Mansberg explains how childbirth affects a woman’s bladder. (Post continues after video.)
3. “I had zero sex drive.”
“We started back at the six week mark. I’ll admit I had zero sex drive at that point. I think it’s the body’s natural way of preventing another pregnancy so soon. I was also breastfeeding so that keeps you naturally dry. We had to use lube and for me the first couple of times I was going through the motions (it was a little painful too) but I love my husband and I love the closeness that brings us.” — lemon_aaah
4. “It was like riding a bike.”
“It was very mutual. After we put the baby to bed, my husband said I looked really pretty and that’s all it took! I was expecting it to be like losing my virginity again, pain-wise, and for there to be this uncomfortable pressure, because that’s what everything I read said. It wasn’t. It was like riding a bike. Just feeling that closeness to my husband, and connecting with him again in that way was incredible. Yes, I orgasmed.” — Sarah
5. "It was emotionally charged."
"Six week check, feeling anxious, still slightly painful, but went through with the sex because I wanted to make my husband feel good and we hadn't had sex in more than six weeks. Honestly - for me it was emotionally traumatising. I should've waited. Should've just given him head or mutual masturbation... Having sex after a baby was almost as emotionally charged as having sex for the first time (in my experience)." — accidentalhippie
6. "A glass of wine helped."
"My partner and I waited a month. It hurt the first few times, but it wasn't horrible. A glass of wine helped. It wasn't about physical pleasure for me but about regaining the intimacy of our relationship." — iheartday9 (Post continues after gallery.)
7. "Like a sharp Hot Pocket."
"When we did have sex, I remember it feeling kind of like a sharp Hot Pocket was being inserted into my vagina. It sucked. It hurt. Nothing about that area wanted to be messed with. We used substantial lubrication, and my husband was patient, but it took close to a year for the ache to go away." - Anne told The Huffington Post.
"I was scared the first time having sex again... but it was fine. I experienced no pain. I didn't notice feeling looser or any different, either. Neither did my husband. In some ways, my body probably won't ever be the same as it was pre-baby but the sex is as good as ever." — Anon Reddit user
9. "So scary."
"So scary. I had to wait eight weeks due to some tearing and scar tissue and my poor husband was dying but my extreme fear of putting something in a hole that had produced an entire baby two months before completely overshadowed any hint of desire I may have had." — Natalie
10. "It felt like glass."
"Painful as all get out the first six months. It felt like glass was on his dick whenever he'd try to penetrate me. Mix of super traumatic birth experience and nursing." — blushingpervert
Watch: Jamila Rizvi on the five pregnancy symptoms nobody ever warns you about. (Post continues after video.)
11. "I didn't feel anything."
"We waited the full six weeks. Didn't feel anything at all the first few times. I don't orgasm as easily [now]."
12. "We had to be careful."
"We had to wait two full months to actually have intercourse, but even then we had to be careful because I felt really tight. I had to get cut and stitched back up again and I swear they stitched me up more than they had to. But after a few more weeks I was back to normal and very happy." — pixelfreak1908
What was your experience of sex after baby?