Monogamy is dead, meet monogamish.

It’s the oldest story in the world. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. They live happily ever after,  while the girl occasionally sleeps with other boys.

Wait… what?

Sorry folks, it seems that monogamy is no longer cool. The new way forward for couples? Monogamish relationships.

So what on earth does ‘monogamish’ mean?

Well, it means you’re monogamous…ish.

But you’re not cheating. No, no, no.

On the latest episode of The Prude and the Pornstar podcast, Mamamia’s favourite sexpert Madison Missina explains monogamish relationships to the romantic Carla GS:

Coined by sex columnist Dan Savage, the term means you are together and committed, but your relationship is open.

Madison says in these relationships, the rules that most monogamous people use to define a relationship go out the window.

“For a lot of people, monogamy is the way to go. For a lot of others, monogamish is the way to go,” says Madison. “They’re together and committed, but they may occasionally see other people.”

It’s not surprising that people are moving away from monogamy. Who wouldn’t want to experience the rush and heightened state of having a crush 24/7?

So it sounds terrific, but how do we do it? Do we sneak out for a quickie while our partner’s at work?

Madison Missina has done it all, but she's monogamous now.

Madison says it's not about deceit. Monogamish relationships only work when everyone is on the same page.

"They might have threesomes or flirtations with other people. Or if they travel they can see other people," she says, "But generally the couple is together."


Monogamish can be seen as an offshoot of polyamory, which Madison says a growing number of people are identifying as.

Yep, it's another one of those buzz-words, but polyamorous basically means having multiple meaningful relationships at one time.

So no, the occasional threesome with a sex-worker doesn't count, nor does that affair.

No, Richie isn't monogamish or polyamorous.

The basis is open and honest communication, your partner has to be on board and everyone needs to know where they stand.

"That's the epitome of love," says Madison.

But it's our resident prude Carla GS who surprised us on this one, admitting she thinks she might have a polyamorous mindset!

"I always tell my husband if I'm attracted to someone else and it's quite confronting to hear," she says, "It doesn't make things easier."

So just like monogamy, being polyamorous or monogamish isn't the best option for everyone. And they both raise so many questions...

What happens when jealousy inevitably rears its ugly head? Do I have to trust the other woman? What if she has a better body than me?

If you're curious about how to actually have a healthy open relationship, listen to the full episode below.

The Prude and The Pornstar is the podcast that takes your questions about sex and relationships. It's everything you ever wanted to know about sex, but have been too afraid to ask. Subscribe in iTunes or listen to the full episode here: