real life

What a Madonna way to break up with someone.

Madonna just broke up with a guy in the most Madonna way.

He’s a 26-year-old model-looking guy known mainly to the world as “Madonna’s toy boy”. People who actually know him call him Tim.

This is Tim. He seems like a very intelligent man.

Anyway, he’s 26. She’s Madonna. They were on holiday together.

Here’s Tim with Madonna’s sons, indicating with his face that he’s having a nice time. He is the one down the bottom with the sunglasses and the teeth and the eyebrows and the few extra years.

Anyway, yeah, they were holidays when Madonna reportedly decided it was time she and Tim parted ways.

“It’s not you,” she probably said. “But it’s also not me. I’m Madonna.”

And then, according to US Weekly magazine, she told him she was going to Ibiza without him to celebrate her birthday. “Madonna politely asked Timor to take his luggage and leave. He packed up and left the trip and said they were done,” said someone who may or may not know anything about the situation at all.

Madonna, her four kids, and her lover had been to Europe and various other lovely locations, and this is what Madonna’s face looked like at some point near Turkey.

But when a material girl’s gotta go to Ibiza, a material girl’s gotta go to Ibiza. You know how it is.

Well, if you want to know more about how it is, here’s Madonna being Madonna, just Madonna-ing all over the place.

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