My friend’s grandmother has died. I have heard about it through another mutual friend, and I am really sorry to hear it. She loved her grandmother.
I send her a text: “I was so sorry to hear about your beloved grandmother. I hope you and your family are doing okay. All my love to you all. xxx”
My friend is currently suffering from anorexia. She is incredibly unwell and undertaking treatment at a hospital. I visit her every weekend but during the week, I text.
I send her a message every few days to make sure she is doing okay: “Hope your day is going well. See you soon. xxx”
My friend has just been diagnosed with cancer. She is going to have to have extensive chemotherapy and a major surgery. She may not even survive. She is only 24 – the same age as me. We grew up together. My dad hears the news from her dad and calls me to tell me. They are close, too.
I am devastated and I cry and then I text her: “Dad told me about the cancer. I am so, so, so sorry and I am really just in shock to have heard the news. Do you want to have dinner soon and we can talk about it? Whenever suits you. I’m always here. xxx”
This is 2013, and this is my life.
This is how I speak to my friends who are going through difficult times. This is how they speak to me when I’m going through difficult times. And so I was a little bit thrown when I saw an article on the Daily Mail called, “What kind of friend sends condolences for your mother’s death by TEXT?”
Of course I clicked on the headline. I had to.
Because I am that friend. And I wanted to understand what was so bad about it.